Half Marathoner (x2)

For some reason...I got it into my head that doing a half marathon was something I needed to do before I turned 40.  So in the interest of those people that have never done one and think you might...here are my top observations from doing a half marathon (actually 2...but that is a whole different story).

1)  Train. Train. Train. Train. Train.  My training was only 10 weeks long...and although I completed both half marathons - I wonder if I had a little bit longer of a training schedule, would I have been more successful?  Which brings me to:
2)  10 weeks doesn't seem like a long time to train for something...but boy was I wrong!  Training for something like this isn't as easy as just getting out there and running.  You start to pay attention to every thing you put into your mouth..  Think you want that glass of wine?  Not if you know it will make you more dehydrated the next day for your run.  Think you want a salad for dinner?  Not if you know it will turn your insides out around mile 4/5 of your run the next day.  Think you want to stay up late and watch that movie with your hubby?  Not if you know you have to wake up at 4:30 the next morning to get a 5 mile run in.  The last 10 weeks have been some of the longest of my life!
3)  I miss wine.  I feel like an alcoholic just saying that...but I really do.  There were nights (even when I was running 2-3 days a week and NOT training for something) I would have a glass of wine with dinner and not think anything about it.  Well...when you are only running 3ish miles the next day - a glass of wine here and there really doesn't matter.  But when you are running 4 days a week...you don't have time to "make up" for sluggish runs because you are dehydrated.  Anyway - one of the things I'm looking forward to tonight...and tomorrow night...and the night after that for that matter...is a nice big glass of wine!
4)  Go poop before every long run.  Trust me on this one....  And if you can't go poop before a long run for some reason...be sure that there is a public bathroom somewhere along your route...
5)  STRETCH before EVERY single run!!!  Trust me on this one too...
6)  It would be beneficial if you stretched after each run...can't say I followed this advice...but I bet I wouldn't be as sore today if I had
7)  Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate.  Even if you aren't running the next day...still drink plenty of water.  If you don't...you seriously can feel it.
8)  I have heard from many long time runner friends, that there is a point you hit a "wall" when running, but if you keep going, you'll "break" through the wall and feel like you can go forever.  Um... that wall for me goes up at about mile 0.02...and STAYS there the entire time.  I literally feel like every single step is hard...  I NEVER had a period of time that I felt like I "broke through" anything and felt like I could go forever....EVER.  A 5 mile run for me is just as hard as a 2.5 mile run which is just as hard as a 1 mile run.  This "wall" is a mental barrier that you just have to get past...that mental barrier for me never comes down.  When I started running longer distances - the only reason I could go from 1.87 to 2.25 (back 2 1/2 years ago)...was me mentally pushing myself.  Now...when I need to run 5 and my body/mind is yelling at me to stop at mile 2...I have to remind myself that I have done 5 before...so I know I can do it again...  Essentially what I'm saying is this - running is probably 75 parts mental and only 25 parts physical.  Seriously!  I think that is what is so exhausting about running for me...is that I have an internal argument the entire time trying to convince myself to keep going.
9)  If you have any runner friends that have done long races before, they will all tell you - if you can do 4 miles, you can do 13.1...  Is it true?  Yes...  But I do believe there are some people whose bodies are made for running...and those of us (like myself) that our bodies are NOT made for running.  Does this mean you shouldn't do a half marathon?  Absolutely not!  Do it!  But after doing these two half marathons - I can tell you that I will most likely never do anything farther than this.  Between knee issues, heel/bursitis issues, plantar's fasciitis issues, GI issues....going farther than 13.1 would kill me.  Will I ever do a half again?  Probably...but no time soon!  I will happily sign up for about any 5k, 10k, and maybe even a 15k now.  However...I have no plans of doing another half marathon in the near future....  I do plan on going back to running 2-3 days a week, between 4-5 miles each of those days.  I will do that because running is how I've been able to (somewhat) maintain my weight... and I like feeling fit.  But...NO MORE TRAINING for me for a while! haha
10) Once you have completed a half marathon - you feel like wearing that medal around for weeks.  It is such a feeling of accomplishment that I can't even put it into words...

At the end of your first (or even second) half marathon...be prepared to be overwhelmed emotionally (not JUST physically).  My first half marathon in February, I felt this to a degree.  I was overwhelmed...but didn't have a good outlet for it (my hubby was out of town).  The one I did yesterday...I did.  After I came across the finish and my hubby and kids were there...it was almost more than I could take.  After I hugged my kids I went to hug my hubby and just started crying.  He thought I was crying because I was hurt (which I was - my bursitis made me walk/limp the last 3-4 miles)...but it was so much more than that.  I was proud of myself for finishing the run (despite my injury), disappointed that I didn't do as well as I would have liked to, physically exhausted and in pain, mentally drained from pushing myself the whole time, thrilled that my best friend in the world was there to support and push me on towards my goal, and happy that my kids got to see that if you work hard enough and train hard enough that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.  So when Jeff went to hug me, I just clung to him and cried.


February 16, 2014 - Five Points of Life Half Marathon
Official time - 3 hours 2 minutes 47 seconds

March 14, 2014 - First Watch Sarasota Half Marathon
Official time - 3 hours 16 minutes 6 seconds

SNOW!!!

One of my bucket list items for before I turn 40 was to take my kids to see snow.  Being Florida born and (so far) raised...the only snow they have seen has been on TV or the few flurries that came down a few Christmas's ago (but didn't stick).   We have seen ice - when on the rare occasion it does get below freezing and someone leaves sprinkler's on...it makes a "winter wonderland" in the neighbor's yard.  But even then...they really don't have a good idea of what snow is.

So over the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday weekend, we flew up to North Carolina hoping to see snow.  On Friday, we took a direct flight into Charlotte, and drove two hours to Asheville.  Watching the weather, we were hopeful that we would even see snow that first night.  And we did!  Saturday morning we woke up to snow!!  Although...only a light dusting.  Nothing that really got the kids excited.

BUT we had planned ahead.  We drove 2 hours into the mountains up to Beech Mountain/Banner Elk, NC.  On the way there...there was even less snow.  We started getting worried.  Was this trip going to be a dud??

About 15-20 minutes outside of Beech Mountain...the snow was getting thicker and thicker.  There was a good 5-6 inches on the ground everywhere...and it was still coming down!  

Snow bunny, Kendall.

Carson is the little guy sitting down on the green saucer.

Here he comes!

Almost there....

Down and running off to go again.  "Awesome" and "Epic" was the quote I heard as he was running...

Here comes Kendall on a toboggan.

Smiling ear to ear.

K, Daddy & C all heading up the hill.

Daddy & Kendall together on the toboggan.

Almost at the bottom.

So each child went down the hill 2 times on their own.  When Daddy & Kendall went down, Carson waited patiently on the top of the hill...getting colder...and colder...and colder...until he just couldn't stand it anymore!  By the time Jeff and Kendall got to the bottom of the hill on the sled...Carson was crying uncontrollably. 

Daddy trying to warm Carson up at the bottom of the sled hill.

We went inside a little pizza place across the street from the sled hill to let the kids warm up.  You see...even though I grew up in Missouri...apparently I have NO memory of what is needed to "survive" in the snow.  We borrowed ski pants from a friend...but didn't have good warm/dry gloves or boots.  So poor Carson's fingers and toes were so cold they were hurting...and our little Florida boy is just not used to that!

So we got the kids warmed up and rested a bit...then headed back outside to hopefully have a little more fun.  No more sledding...but there was a snowball fight, snow angels, and a snowman!

Daddy doing a snow angel.

Carson wading through the snow.

Actually throwing a snow ball!

Daddy let Carson throw it right in his face!

Making the snow man.

Even Carson did a snow angel.

Posing with the completed snow man!

Even Carson was having fun with the snow man.

Daddy LOVED playing in the snow with his kiddos.

Snow ball fight!

"Bury me Daddy!"

Here is proof - Carson actually did have fun in the snow!

Once we were done playing in the snow, we went inside again and had some great pizza...then decided to move on.  We drove around a little and found this frozen lake somewhere off of the Blue Ridge Parkway.

Jeff "had" to go down the stairs to see the lake.

Came back up with a slab of ice that had broken up.

Impossible sometimes to get a good picture of the two of them... 

We then headed to an area called Blowing Rock... beautiful views...but COLD...

The next day we went to the Biltmore in Asheville.  What can I say.  Gorgeous!  We will definitely be back!!!  

Overall it was a wonderful, fun, short little trip.  One that we think we will try to take every year!  Next year....better gloves and boots!!!!

Next item on my bucket list?  HALF MARATHON!!!  I am deep in training now - only 6 1/2 weeks away....

I Resolve...

to NOT make New Year's resolutions.

I mean really...have any of us EVER really TRULY completed a "resolution"?

BUT year after year on January 1 we all decide that we will make resolutions to change our lives.  To quit smoking.  To lose those pesky 15 pounds.  To stop biting our nails. To be a better person in some way.  ALL with the best of intentions...

What I've learned though...is that for ANY change to take place...you have to want it not only in your head...but also in your heart.  If it isn't something that you REALLY REALLY want to change...if it isn't something that you can picture yourself starting/stopping/doing...then it will never happen. That is why the gym is PACKED and every piece of equipment is full the first 2-3 weeks of the new year.  And then something amazing happens...people realize that to actually fulfill their resolution (of losing weight, in this case)...they have to make a lifestyle change and find the time to not only fit in trips to the gym, but adjust their diet as well.  When the scale doesn't instantly drop by 5 pounds in the first week...they get discouraged and decide that it is just too hard...that it isn't worth it.  This is the same with most any resolution.  Typically as excited and determined as people are in week one...that excitement fizzles away by week 3 or 4.  And back they go to their old lifestyles.  Saying "next year...next year I'll really be ready."

I'm guilty of doing that MANY, MANY times myself.  Which is why several years ago I finally got smart and said NO MORE!

Now - that isn't to say that I don't set goals for myself each year.  There is something about a whole new calendar...it feels like a clean slate...a fresh start...a new beginning (even though it is really just a new day).    It is hard not to want to make goals for the next year.  Heck...just a new month inspires me to make a goal.  BUT with any goal - I do try to take it just one day/week/month at a time.  AND I try to celebrate my little victories.

So...although to many this will look like a "resolution" list...it is really just my little list of goals for the new year.

1)  Anyone that has ever attended one of my kids birthday parties knows this is true...I am HORRIBLE about sending Thank You notes.  Please know that I (and the kids) TRULY are very thankful about your attendance at the party, the gift, etc...I am just HORRIBLE about doing thank you notes.  So...I am going to try to be better about this next year.
2)  I used to be good about Birthday/Anniversary, etc. cards...but have gotten HORRIBLE about those as well (just ask my sister and folks...)
3)  I want to be better about staying OFF of my "smart" devices - especially when I am around family/friends.  They are making me "dumb"....and it is setting a horrible example for my kids...

So that is all for me.  What is on your list?  Oh...and

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I'm not a Runner...

Really...I'm not.

I've been running for just over two years now, about 1 1/2 years of that outside (anyone that runs regularly knows there is a HUGE difference between treadmill running and outside running).  When I first started running outside I couldn't go farther than 1.87 miles without feeling like I was dying...now I am hoping that in the next year I will run a half marathon (which is 13.1 miles).

But again...I'm not a runner.

I have suffered and overcome from Plantar Fasciitis (PF) with a low-dose oral steroid and stretching before EVERY SINGLE RUN.

But again...I'm not a runner.

I have had a colonoscopy and multiple exams due to rectal bleeding, because it appears I am one of the rare people (like 1 in 10 runners I think I read somewhere...) whose body reacts to the steady impact of running over long distances (anything over 3.25 miles) in a very odd and sometimes embarrassing manner but am otherwise completely healthy down "there" otherwise...but because of this "odd" thing I must put in a hydrocortisone suppository the night before every run so that I don't have bleeding when I run.

But again...I'm not a runner.

I am now seeing a Physical Therapist because I have Patella Femoral Pain Syndrome (PFPS), which my PT thinks is actually due to Plica Syndrome (another rare condition), and over the last 6 weeks I've only run a total of probably 10 miles, but I still try to go out and run and even push through the sharp pain that comes at times in the run just so I can continue.

But again...I'm not a runner.

My husband says to me....You have had heel pain, rectal bleeding and now knee pain...and yet you still want to run?

Yes.  I do.

But again...I don't consider myself a runner.

I don't LIKE running.  I don't.  If you ever see me out running, I will look pained and exhausted.  I don't glide across the road like some women do.  I feel every. Single. Step.  Anytime someone takes a picture of me at a 5K or some sort of event... I look "concerned"...NOT like I'm enjoying myself.

So...again... I don't consider myself a runner.

At least...I didn't used to...

But my big goals this year...another triathlon sprint, a 10K, a half marathon, an Olympic length triathlon...all involve running.

When I don't run...I get moody and depressed.  When I don't run...I don't sleep as well.  When I don't run...I have less energy.

When I am driving around town and I see people running...I wish I was with them.  I get jealous when someone is out running and I realize that I haven't been in a while.  If I don't run every few days... I CRAVE it.  The last 6 weeks as I've been out with knee pain...I  have thought more about running and getting out there again than ever before.  I've really...truly...in my bones...missed running.

Ok... Time to admit it.

I. Am. A. Runner.

Pass another glass...

I love my kids.  I really do.  I love them with every ounce of my being.  I would jump in front of a moving car for them.  I would leap tall buildings in a single bound...oh... wait.

But...I have something I have to admit.  And it tears me up inside.  The guilt that courses through my veins because I feel this way is just as potent as the love I feel for them.

I. Don't. Like. My. Kids. All. The. Time.

Truth be told...lately I can only stand being around them about 50% of the time...if that much.  There are periods of time where they are enjoyable and a pleasure to be with.  I love talking to them and seeing things through their eyes.  I enjoy hearing their conversations with each other.  They make me laugh when they are being goofy.

But then.  Sometimes.  I can't wait to get them out of the door in the morning.  Or into bed at night.

I mean really. Why is it that we can't even leave the parking lot of their school before one is annoying the other which in turn makes the other scream and whine which in turn makes the other do it louder/longer/more intense which makes the other scream more which makes me scream like a mad woman and gesture all over so that the people next to me must think I am having a mental breakdown?

I mean really.  Why is it that anytime a question is asked of me, I have to repeat the same answer over and over to many different explanations of the same question in case I just didn't understand said question correctly the first time or I just wasn't hearing them correctly until I have to be "mean" in order to get my original answer actually heard?  And God help me if I don't justify my answer, because then I hear my Mom's answer flying out of my mouth - "Because I said so!"

I mean really.  How hard is it to turn off lights when you leave a room, or brush your teeth without leaving an entire splat of toothpaste all over the sink or close a door that you open or actually respond the first time that someone says your name?

I know that most of this is just them being kids which means that it is a regular part of parenting.  But it is seriously like they are "brain damaged", as Bill Cosby once said.  Common sense doesn't apply to kids (although...it doesn't apply to many adults for that matter...).  Not to mention the attitudes.  Wow.  I know some parents out there are saying or will reply with "You don't have to put up with attitudes.  I stop them before they start." Well...don't bother preaching to me about it.  Because we didn't stop them and they did start and we continue to battle them and it is still a struggle.

Throw in my daughter's ADHD, along with her emotional/anxiety issues...and what occurs on a daily basis is lots of yelling from both sides, lots of tears (some days) and lots of anxiety for me and her father.  With her it is so hard to tell - is what we are dealing with the effects of her ADHD or disobedience.  It is a constant struggle and a constant hunt for the happy medium.  We continually question ourselves and our parenting abilities.  We really do feel most days like we are screwing her up and she will be in one form of counseling or another for the rest of her life.

Parenting sucks sometimes.  It is incredibly hard.  I think that is why having good friends with kids is utterly important.  You can bounce ideas off of them.  Tell them where you are struggling.  It is always so refreshing to find out some of the things we are dealing with, others are too.  There are other families that have some of the exact same issues and struggles and battles raging day to day in their homes.

I told a friend once that is a relatively new stepmom, that there are times I just don't like my kids.  I don't want to be around them.  I need a break.  I love them.  That never changes.  But sometimes....that glass of wine with a friend that drags on until the clock says that the kids will be in bed is much more appealing!  My friend was relieved to hear this.  She had been secretly struggling with the occasional feeling of not wanting to be around her stepchild.  She felt horribly guilty because she does love the child and father so much, but had several moments where she just didn't like the child.  When I confessed that I didn't like my kids sometimes...she was able to let some of that guilt go.

I think that having friends with kids is akin to having a user's manual for kids.  Especially if you have friends with kids that are a little older.  Because then they can tell you what they did that worked, didn't work, etc.  Like a mentor.  But in turn...we should have friends with younger kids too...so we can be that "mentor" to someone else.  NONE of us are experts in raising kids.  Even those of us that have PhDs are not experts...even those of us that have raised 20 children are not experts...  EVERY child is different and has their own struggles and problems and not to mention the way the culture is changing every 5 minutes to make things even more of a challenge (i.e. no cell phones when I was a kid....now what do we do???).  God makes it fun for us like that.

But as in everything - we have to take it all with a grain of salt.  As much as there are times I don't like my kids, I do thank God for them every single day.  I am blessed to be able to be a wife and a mother, and can only pray someday that I'll look back at all of this and laugh...over my bottle of wine.

Before I turn 40...

Today is the first day of the last year of my 30's....in other words...I'm 39 years old today. EEK!  It doesn't seem possible.  39 is OLD.  O.L.D.  Middle ages...  Except...I don't feel old...I don't feel like I'm pushing 40.  We all have an "age" in our head that we "feel" like.  Mine is about 27-28.  So when I see someone that IS that age, I think to myself "that is how I look"...when in fact...I'm a full DECADE older than that.  Wow.  Jeff just laughs at me and thinks I'm silly when I realize that I've been out of high school for 21 years now....wow...  He is 7 1/2 years older than me, so he always jokingly says "I don't have any sympathy for you."  At the end of his headlights he sees the big 5-0...so me freaking out just a little bit about 40 is amusing to him.

Anyway - the point of this post is that I want to list the things I want to accomplish in the next year.  If I don't write them down somewhere...I'm afraid I will forget them (you know...old age and all...).  Also - this list will be "small" because I want the things on it to actually be obtainable.  If I put something along the lines of "Visit the Great Wall of China" on the list, it wouldn't be obtainable - at least not before I'm 40.  Those kind of things end up on a different "bucket" list...haha

1) Run a 10K.  (or 6.2 miles)  Originally I was going to do this on Thanksgiving day this year....but then my knee started giving me issues...so I don't think it is going to happen.  BUT it WILL happen sometime in the next calendar year!
2) Run a half marathon.  I have NO inclination or desire to ever complete a full marathon.  But who knows...maybe that will be on my "before I'm 50" list. Completed February 16 & March 16.
3) Complete a Olympic length triathlon.  Just this past weekend, my friend K and I did a sprint length - and we survived.  We are even excited about doing another one (possibly in April).  BUT I will say this - the swim about killed me!  I was NOT ready for the open water swim...not ready at all.  About the time I couldn't touch anymore, I was having a difficult time breathing and I panicked.  I made it through...and per the timing...we did the .25 mile in only 15 minutes (!!?!?! WHAT?!?!?).  So...with proper training and preparation...doing a full mile is conceivable....doable.  So why not???
4) Do a Ragnar Relay race.  Now...this might not happen before I turn 40...but hopefully it will happen the year of 40.  The one I want to do is in the Keys (the upcoming one is in February - so too quick for me to be ready). BUT in 2015 I will be ALL over that!  Hopefully I will have enough friends to fill the team of 12.
5) Ride in a Hot Air Balloon.  I am scared of heights...well...falling from them really.  I can be in a tall building where I have no fear that I will fall out of it and be perfectly fine.  But.  If you put me somewhere that is high...and in my clumsy nature I trip and could fall off of the high thing...that is when I'm scared.  So...a hot air balloon is a big thing for me.  Challenges fears and all.
6) Read the Bible.  Oh I've read some of the bible.  Chunks of it here and there.  But I've never finished it....sad...but true.  So my goal is to this year finally finish reading the Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth manual...
7) Finish Kendall's baby quilt.  Seriously...  I took a quilting class about 9 years ago...and made a few for a few friends and their babies (Michele N. and Heather C. I believe...).  BUT...I never finished the one for my daughter that I started when I was pregnant with her.  Still have everything for it...but haven't finished it.  Oh well.
8) Learn to knit or crochet.  Now I'm not saying that I will become an avid knitter or crocheter...but I want to at least learn how to do it.  Maybe make one scarf or something...and know that I can.
9) Bring the kids to see snow.  For those of you up north...this seems like a weird item I'm sure.  BUT...my kids are FLORIDA kids.  They saw snow two Christmas's ago - but it was just the stuff that floated down from the sky for all of 3 minutes and didn't stick anywhere.  They have no real concept of what snow is REALLY like.  We told them we would try to bring them last year...but it just never happened. THIS year - I want to make sure it happens. Completed January 17-20.
10) Be an extra on the set of a TV show or (major) movie.  Ok...so this one might not be doable.  But this has ALWAYS been a dream of mine...so who knows....maybe someone out there reading this has connections to let me be on the set of something.  Maybe not even as an extra...just to be able to watch how it all happens would be incredible.
11) Rent a "fun" car for a weekend.  Sounds simple enough.  But Jeff and I are typically "practical"...and get the standard car or small SUV if we are traveling with the kids.  But...just once...I want to rent the convertible...the race car. Wow.  How much fun would that be??
12) Publish something I have written.  Many don't know this...but I do creative writing occasionally.  I wrote one poem in college that was published in the school's yearly literary journal. Really cool.  But...since then I've written a few short stories and even more poetry.  I've started a book...several times...the same book.  But - I think it would be cool to have something I've written be published in a magazine or something.  Not sure how to accomplish this...but who knows...
13) and along those same lines Start to Write again Regularly.  I used to write on this blog on a regular basis.  Then I stopped...  I would like to challenge myself to maybe write a blog post at least 2 times a month (not unobtainable).  And...do some creative writing maybe once a month (or more).
14) Take the kids camping. In a tent. Outside. Overnight.  We have all the equipment...just haven't done it yet.  This year.  This is it!

I'm sure I can come up with more if I think long and hard enough about it.  But for right now - I think that the above is doable.  Any additional suggestions?

40 Day Fitness Challenge - Week 1

Today is actually day 5...so not quite a whole week.  Although - I have done something "active" (moving/exercising 20-40 minutes) 6 out of the last 7 days.  Already I feel better...and I am craving the exercise.

Today for example...my hubby is out of town and the kids are out of school.  I went to the gym yesterday - and I typically run Monday, Wednesday and Fridays...so I decided the kids would ride their bikes and I would run with Rally behind them.  Then...Carson decided he wanted to do Kendall's scooter and NOT his bike.  UGGHHH  Just as I suspected...not only was I mainly walking...but I also ended up carrying his/her scooter half the time...we only went 1.3 miles in 18 minutes...which is horrible time...but I guess you can say that at least I did something...  Just really is frustrating.  They aren't old enough for me to leave them alone for 30 minutes.  It seems silly to find a sitter or someone to watch them for 30 minutes...so that means I have to have a sub-par workout unless I go to the gym and run on the "dread"mill (as someone I know calls it).

I have to say - this challenge is more challenging (ha) than I thought it would be...  Saturday I didn't do anything - because by the time we ran a few errands, then Jeff had to go to the office to get stuff ready for his trip (which he was leaving on early the next day)...I just never got anything done.  Miscommunication and mis-timing on Jeff and my part lead to the fact that I didn't do anything.  Tomorrow is going to be a struggle too...as I can't go in the morning (Jeff isn't home...can't leave the kids), and I've got appointments to be at from 9am until 1ish pm.  I will have to go in the afternoon and take a shower before I have a meeting that night.

How do single parents do it?  Stay in shape, do house stuff, work & kids???  I can't do a weekend....

Anyway - I know I sound really down on the whole thing right now...but I am just frustrated about my lack of exercise the last few days...wow.  One week in and I'm already hooked! :)