Most of you that know me and my family know that we have struggled with Kendall and her bowel movements...for years...literally. We started potty training her when she was just over 2 years old... Started...failed...stopped. Started...failed...stopped. Finally - when she was about 3-3 1/2 she finally "got it" in regards to her urination. She also knew how to control her BMs, but refused. How did I know that she knew how to control them? Well - she would hold them in all day long at school...and as soon as she saw me to bring her home, she would release (she knew that if she had a BM at school, they would call me and I would have to take her home). When she was working towards a goal - she controlled it like a champ. But the minute she got her goal...she stopped. Just before she turned 4, we started her in play therapy...hoping that whatever the issue was would be taken care of through that. After doing one hour of play therapy one day a week for over 6 months...no progress...at all... So we stopped play therapy and prayed. Finally - the first part of May 2010 (just before we left for a family cruise)...she "got it". Whatever behavioral, control issues she was going through ended...and what followed was about 6 months of almost bliss! No more accidents...just like that. No issues at all. What had previously been constant stress and frustration was suddenly resolved - for her and Jeff and I. I have no doubt whatsoever that prior to this point - her BM issues were a behavioral thing and any punishment was justified.
Fast forward to the end of November, 2010...just after her 5th birthday...she comes home from school three days in a row with really bad "wiping" problems. (Keep in mind that she hadn't had ANY issues for over six months...) We tell her that she needs to work on it and we will help her as best as we can. Then the next two days in a row she has "accidents". After dealing with this yet again...stress, frustration, crying (on my end more than hers I think)...just before Christmas we bring her to the doctor because Kendall swears that she can't help it, that she has a "bug" in her belly. Ms. Pat (a Nurse Practitioner (?)) does a rectal exam on her, and says that "I can't cure stubbornness". She then tells us that her sphincter isn't very strong, so we probably need to re-train her bowels. So - we were told to go home and give her an enema (the worst experience Jeff and I have ever had...not to mention Kendall) - and then give her mineral oil every morning mixed with grape juice. We told Kendall (supporting her with the "bug" theory) that the mineral oil/grape juice is medicine to get the bug out. Again...bliss for three or four weeks. Then...mid January - we learn about Carson being developmentally delayed...and I have a really hard time dealing with it...thus stress in the house...and more accidents from Kendall.
Fast forward to now...we have been dealing with "accidents" now on and off since then. We've gotten angry...cried...made threats...promises...nothing has worked. Then - after one particularly bad week - I started researching on the internet hoping to find someone that is going through the same thing that I was. Little did I know, Jeff was doing the same thing. We both came across the term "encopresis" (for more information on this condition, go here), but neither of us really thought it was the issue. BUT...what I read sat in my head and every time she had an accident, I thought of the stuff I read and the descriptions from parents in forums. Last week - after another really bad week...we went to the doctor (to have the doctor look at an injury of Carson's that was infected) and asked about Kendall. I brought up encopresis, and based upon my description, Ms. Tayna (a Nurse Practitioner) agreed that it is most likely what it is. She said it is VERY common...and in the cases she has seen, that she recommends just giving the children MiraLax every night, and try to make set potty times (like after breakfast in the morning) to encourage a movement.
Although I know we have a long way to go, I am confident that this is a physical issue that she can't control...at all... She is just as surprised as I am most of the time that there is any soiling in her underwear...she simply doesn't know it has happened... If you open the link above and read about the condition - she is pretty much a textbook case. Knowing this does a few things for me: 1) makes me feel guilty about the number of times I've screamed and punished her over accidents that she really couldn't help and 2) gives me hope...because now I know that with our doctor's help - and most importantly - God's healing - we will get through this.
I don't have any idea how many of you out there that read this blog are going through the same thing we are...if any of you are at all. If you are though, you are not alone. I have felt alone and frustrated and scared for a long time. And now I feel we have an answer and will hopefully see a resolution in this very soon.
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