Perspective

Half-full or Half-empty?

Partly sunny or Party cloudy?

TomAto or Tomahto?

Perspective (per·spec·tive) /pərˈspɛktɪv/

1. a technique of depicting volumes and spatial relationships on a flat surface. Compare aerial perspective, linear perspective.

2. a picture employing this technique, especially one in which it is prominent: an architect's perspective of a house.

3. a visible scene, especially one extending to a distance; vista: a perspective on the main axis of an estate.

4. the state of existing in space before the eye: The elevations look all right, but the building's composition is a failure in perspective.

5. the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship: You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.

I have always pictured myself as the "glass is half full" kind of person...with an occasional trip down the other lane when times seemed especially challenging. I felt like I always tried to see the good in things and I always tried to keep positive in situations where I felt disturbed. I actually use a sense of humor that at some times in inappropriate to make tough times seem not so tough. As a defense mechanism, I use sarcasm and jokes to make tense times not so tense. And, at times, I know that it isn't appreciated by the person on the receiving end...

About 6 1/2 years ago, I just barely knew someone (who is now a very dear friend) who was pregnant with her second child. She was talking about her pregnancy and how they discovered that he was going to be missing his left hand from just below his elbow. This was obviously a VERY tough time for her and her husband and all their family. The first thought that came to my mind? "Guess you know he will be right handed." (By the way - I didn't say it to her at that time...we were friends before I confessed that inappropriate thought.) Oh - and her son is now a very normal, healthy, happy 6 year old...so much so that I often forget about his difference.

Over 15 years ago my sister was lying in a hospital bed in Honolulu, Hawaii in the ICU...my mom and dad and I were keeping her company and giving her support...and throughout those moments and when mom and dad and I would be talking about the whole situation outside of the hospital - I used humor to get me through. Sometimes appropriate...sometimes inappropriate. Oh - and my sister is now happily married with a beautiful daughter.

Although I don't think using humor is a bad thing...it has been my way of coping. Rather than actually allowing my emotions to complete their full rotation - I used humor to make myself "feel better"....or rather...to avoid the full brunt of the situation. Using humor (whether good or bad) helped give me a different perspective of whatever was going on. It is as if my mind searches to find the glimmer of hope or happiness or joy in what might otherwise be difficult. I mean - if you can't see something good - then how can you joke about it?

Unfortunately, though, sometimes seeing humor in a situation isn't all that is needed to really "get through" it.

Have you ever done a puzzle? You know - one of those HUGE puzzles - like over 1000 pieces - where the bottom left hand corner looks NOTHING like the top right hand corner...so it is hard to imagine how all the pieces will come together to make a beautiful picture? If you look at each individual puzzle piece and not anything else - you will never solve the puzzle. You have to look at the colors on the piece, the parts that stick out and the parts that don't...and then somehow - you find a piece it fits with. Most of the time - you have a picture on the box to help guide you...to give you perspective...so you have an idea where in the puzzle each piece will go. BUT - have you ever done a puzzle without looking at the picture? Some pieces would go together easy...but others...wow.

Our lives are like doing a puzzle without having the box to look at. We are one of the pieces...bumping around...trying to figure out where we fit...sometimes finding success...most of the time being frustrated that we just can't make it work. Sometimes I wish I was the Creator, so I could look down from His vantage point and get an idea of where in the world all of this is leading. I get so caught up in my day to day struggles...that I forget there are other puzzle pieces having a harder time than I am... The day to day struggles are easy to get bogged down in...and it is easy to feel sorry for myself. It is easy to only see the rock wall in front of me and ignore the foot holes that I can use to climb to the top of the wall and look around.

Another friend of mine, K, has a precious 10-year old son that has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Within the next 2 years he will be permanently confined to a wheelchair. And based upon statistics of others that have had the same condition, he will not live past his 20s. K and her family are now struggling trying to figure out how to afford not only a motorized wheelchair (after insurance they will still need to pay $20-30K out of pocket), a van that is equipped to handle the wheelchair ($60-70K), and modifications to their home so that their son can still function as a normal family member. Beyond the financial worries, they worry for their son's health, as well as the health of their other two beautiful children. They rely on their faith to give them strength...and God has never failed them in that regard. K and her husband are a couple of the strongest people I know.

And I found myself most of last year crying...about my son's speech delay...about my daughter's soiling accidents... My children are healthy...and do not have a condition that will take them from me in the next 10-15 years. I thought I was relying on my faith...but I wasn't. I really wasn't turning anything over to God. I was wallowing in my self-pity and forgetting one very important thing: my kids (with the exception of a few minor issues) are HEALTHY!

Now I'm not saying that I didn't have a reason to be sad...to be disappointed...to be frustrated and angry at times even. But to spend the last year only focused on my problems and focused on my frustrations.... God has put my friend K in my life to remind me that it could be different. To give me...

Perspective. I needed some. I prayed for some. God delivered.