Before I turn 40...

Today is the first day of the last year of my 30's....in other words...I'm 39 years old today. EEK!  It doesn't seem possible.  39 is OLD.  O.L.D.  Middle ages...  Except...I don't feel old...I don't feel like I'm pushing 40.  We all have an "age" in our head that we "feel" like.  Mine is about 27-28.  So when I see someone that IS that age, I think to myself "that is how I look"...when in fact...I'm a full DECADE older than that.  Wow.  Jeff just laughs at me and thinks I'm silly when I realize that I've been out of high school for 21 years now....wow...  He is 7 1/2 years older than me, so he always jokingly says "I don't have any sympathy for you."  At the end of his headlights he sees the big 5-0...so me freaking out just a little bit about 40 is amusing to him.

Anyway - the point of this post is that I want to list the things I want to accomplish in the next year.  If I don't write them down somewhere...I'm afraid I will forget them (you know...old age and all...).  Also - this list will be "small" because I want the things on it to actually be obtainable.  If I put something along the lines of "Visit the Great Wall of China" on the list, it wouldn't be obtainable - at least not before I'm 40.  Those kind of things end up on a different "bucket" list...haha

1) Run a 10K.  (or 6.2 miles)  Originally I was going to do this on Thanksgiving day this year....but then my knee started giving me issues...so I don't think it is going to happen.  BUT it WILL happen sometime in the next calendar year!
2) Run a half marathon.  I have NO inclination or desire to ever complete a full marathon.  But who knows...maybe that will be on my "before I'm 50" list. Completed February 16 & March 16.
3) Complete a Olympic length triathlon.  Just this past weekend, my friend K and I did a sprint length - and we survived.  We are even excited about doing another one (possibly in April).  BUT I will say this - the swim about killed me!  I was NOT ready for the open water swim...not ready at all.  About the time I couldn't touch anymore, I was having a difficult time breathing and I panicked.  I made it through...and per the timing...we did the .25 mile in only 15 minutes (!!?!?! WHAT?!?!?).  So...with proper training and preparation...doing a full mile is conceivable....doable.  So why not???
4) Do a Ragnar Relay race.  Now...this might not happen before I turn 40...but hopefully it will happen the year of 40.  The one I want to do is in the Keys (the upcoming one is in February - so too quick for me to be ready). BUT in 2015 I will be ALL over that!  Hopefully I will have enough friends to fill the team of 12.
5) Ride in a Hot Air Balloon.  I am scared of heights...well...falling from them really.  I can be in a tall building where I have no fear that I will fall out of it and be perfectly fine.  But.  If you put me somewhere that is high...and in my clumsy nature I trip and could fall off of the high thing...that is when I'm scared.  So...a hot air balloon is a big thing for me.  Challenges fears and all.
6) Read the Bible.  Oh I've read some of the bible.  Chunks of it here and there.  But I've never finished it....sad...but true.  So my goal is to this year finally finish reading the Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth manual...
7) Finish Kendall's baby quilt.  Seriously...  I took a quilting class about 9 years ago...and made a few for a few friends and their babies (Michele N. and Heather C. I believe...).  BUT...I never finished the one for my daughter that I started when I was pregnant with her.  Still have everything for it...but haven't finished it.  Oh well.
8) Learn to knit or crochet.  Now I'm not saying that I will become an avid knitter or crocheter...but I want to at least learn how to do it.  Maybe make one scarf or something...and know that I can.
9) Bring the kids to see snow.  For those of you up north...this seems like a weird item I'm sure.  BUT...my kids are FLORIDA kids.  They saw snow two Christmas's ago - but it was just the stuff that floated down from the sky for all of 3 minutes and didn't stick anywhere.  They have no real concept of what snow is REALLY like.  We told them we would try to bring them last year...but it just never happened. THIS year - I want to make sure it happens. Completed January 17-20.
10) Be an extra on the set of a TV show or (major) movie.  Ok...so this one might not be doable.  But this has ALWAYS been a dream of mine...so who knows....maybe someone out there reading this has connections to let me be on the set of something.  Maybe not even as an extra...just to be able to watch how it all happens would be incredible.
11) Rent a "fun" car for a weekend.  Sounds simple enough.  But Jeff and I are typically "practical"...and get the standard car or small SUV if we are traveling with the kids.  But...just once...I want to rent the convertible...the race car. Wow.  How much fun would that be??
12) Publish something I have written.  Many don't know this...but I do creative writing occasionally.  I wrote one poem in college that was published in the school's yearly literary journal. Really cool.  But...since then I've written a few short stories and even more poetry.  I've started a book...several times...the same book.  But - I think it would be cool to have something I've written be published in a magazine or something.  Not sure how to accomplish this...but who knows...
13) and along those same lines Start to Write again Regularly.  I used to write on this blog on a regular basis.  Then I stopped...  I would like to challenge myself to maybe write a blog post at least 2 times a month (not unobtainable).  And...do some creative writing maybe once a month (or more).
14) Take the kids camping. In a tent. Outside. Overnight.  We have all the equipment...just haven't done it yet.  This year.  This is it!

I'm sure I can come up with more if I think long and hard enough about it.  But for right now - I think that the above is doable.  Any additional suggestions?

40 Day Fitness Challenge - Week 1

Today is actually day 5...so not quite a whole week.  Although - I have done something "active" (moving/exercising 20-40 minutes) 6 out of the last 7 days.  Already I feel better...and I am craving the exercise.

Today for example...my hubby is out of town and the kids are out of school.  I went to the gym yesterday - and I typically run Monday, Wednesday and Fridays...so I decided the kids would ride their bikes and I would run with Rally behind them.  Then...Carson decided he wanted to do Kendall's scooter and NOT his bike.  UGGHHH  Just as I suspected...not only was I mainly walking...but I also ended up carrying his/her scooter half the time...we only went 1.3 miles in 18 minutes...which is horrible time...but I guess you can say that at least I did something...  Just really is frustrating.  They aren't old enough for me to leave them alone for 30 minutes.  It seems silly to find a sitter or someone to watch them for 30 minutes...so that means I have to have a sub-par workout unless I go to the gym and run on the "dread"mill (as someone I know calls it).

I have to say - this challenge is more challenging (ha) than I thought it would be...  Saturday I didn't do anything - because by the time we ran a few errands, then Jeff had to go to the office to get stuff ready for his trip (which he was leaving on early the next day)...I just never got anything done.  Miscommunication and mis-timing on Jeff and my part lead to the fact that I didn't do anything.  Tomorrow is going to be a struggle too...as I can't go in the morning (Jeff isn't home...can't leave the kids), and I've got appointments to be at from 9am until 1ish pm.  I will have to go in the afternoon and take a shower before I have a meeting that night.

How do single parents do it?  Stay in shape, do house stuff, work & kids???  I can't do a weekend....

Anyway - I know I sound really down on the whole thing right now...but I am just frustrated about my lack of exercise the last few days...wow.  One week in and I'm already hooked! :)

40 Day Fitness Challenge

My name is Amy, and I am addicted to being lazy.

There - I said it.  Finally. Whew!  That is off my chest!

Some people will read that and say - "Not you!  You are constantly running around and doing things and never seem to sit still."  However - what they don't know is that if given the option of running around doing a ton of things or sitting on my hiney watching a movie and eating ice cream - I would choose the movie/ice cream EVERY single time.  The only reason I do run around and seem so "motivated" is because I HAVE to.  There isn't really a choice.  My kids have to get fed.  The laundry has to get done and put away eventually otherwise there would be no clothes to wear.  I have to go to the grocery store if I want our family to eat on a regular basis.  I really don't have a choice.  BUT if my kids are playing outside and want me to play with them...the couch wins every time.  If the kids want to go for a bike ride...the latest book I'm reading wins. Etc. Etc. Etc.  If I didn't have to answer to anyone and could do what I wanted when I wanted...I would probably be in my PJs for days, ordering in food...watching movies I've seen 100 times...taking multiple naps day and night...and gaining 100 pounds in the process.  And I could probably do that for about a week before I would finally say "ENOUGH" and get cleaned up and out of the house.

I have been working out and watching what I'm eating on a regular basis (out of necessity mind you...not because I "wanted" to do it...but because I was beginning to really dislike myself and that was affecting all my relationships), until around the first of November last year.  Then...SSCCRREEEECCCHHHH!!!  The brakes were put on...I stopped working out...I stopped paying attention to what I was eating...and BOOM! CRASH!  10 pounds were quickly added to my body.  ugghhh....  Here we go again...my dislike of myself has started creeping back in every time I look in the mirror...  I have tried to get active again...tried meeting people two-three days a week to go running...but I haven't been consistent at all at it...I haven't really been committed to the idea...and it has been very rough going.  I really believe that part of the reason is that I'm the kind of person that needs to do something every day to make it a "habit".

With that in mind...and with the Lenten season beginning in just a few days...I have decided to give up my "lazy" ways for Lent....and be ACTIVE for 20-30 minutes every single day for 40 days.  That means that either I will get up and go running every morning...or if I don't get up to go running - have me and the kids go bike-riding in the afternoon...or go to the gym...SOMETHING.  I need to kick myself in the hiney to get myself moving again...and what a better time and better reason to do it?    I also will try to update my blog at least once a week and tell of my activities...so that I'm held accountable. 

Oh - and I am "stopping" the daily thing on Sunday, March 24...as that is the day before we are set to close on the purchase of a new house and therefore begin the moving process.  I figure with all the moving I can give myself a pass..  But who knows...maybe by then it will be such a habit that I won't want to stop it... One can hope.. :

So - who is with me???  Who wants to join me on this challenge? 

Reinventing Amy

I recently had the pleasure to attend my 20th high school reunion.  First of all - there is NO way that I am old enough to have been out of high school 20 years - so I think it was all a big mistake and a Candid Camera kind of situation - but I played along...

At my reunion - a fellow classmate and I were talking and she said the most curious thing.  I have been rolling it around in my head for the last few weeks trying to get a feel of it...and finally have decided it is blog worthy...so here we are.  She said to me: "Amy, you sure have reinvented yourself haven't you?" I said something flippant in return along the lines of "I just don't care about what people think of me as much as I did before, so I guess so."

Truth is - the answer was a lie....mostly...

Have I reinvented myself from 20 years ago?  Am I really so different that someone that knew me then thinks I'm so different now?  Truth is, I wasn't very close to the woman that said this to me in high school, and have only recently "friended" her on Facebook.  Did she know me well enough then to know that I'm so different now?  Hmmm...

A lot has happened in 20 years.  I went to college and had my first true heart-break the summer before my senior year.  Scott and I had been dating for probably 6-8 months when out of nowhere he broke up with me.  I took it hard.  Really hard.  In fact, when he tried to reconcile a few days/week later, instead of letting him see how devastated I was, I used anger to cover my vulnerability and pushed him away.  Through all of my "romances" in high school, Scott was really my first love...and getting your heart truly broken for the first time ever, as we all know, is not fun.  I learned a lot from that first "real" relationship.

A few years later, I was living in Florida, dating a man that was not nice to me (on the verge of breaking up with him altogether)...when my sister attempted suicide.  To say that my world was turned upside down would be an understatement. My strong, confident, beautiful sister was hurting in ways I never even knew about...and because of her illness, decided that death was the only way away from her pain.  Thankfully, God spared her that fateful day...but I would never be the same.  After spending two weeks by her side in Hawaii where her attempt was made, I came home numb.  I didn't know what to feel, what to think.  I was scared to feel, scared to think.  So...I let the man I had been dating start to do it for me...

About a year later, Rob and I got married...and what followed was about a 3 year long nightmare...full of emotional, verbal, mental and sexual abuse at the hands of this man who said he loved me.  I shut out my family and my friends.  Although no one "knew" what was going on...they all knew "something" was going on.  But I was too stubborn and scared to admit it...  A mixture of fear that no one would believe me because I didn't have any bruises and of shame that I allowed myself into that situation in the first place kept me locked in a situation much longer than I ever should have been.  Finally - God intervened and released me.  I won't go into the whole story here...that is a blog post in and of itself...

So...there I was...26 years old...living with mom and dad again...divorced. Wow.  How humbling...NOT at all where I thought I would be at that time in my life...  However - with time, and therapy, I emerged stronger and smarter than I was before.  I learned what I would allow in a relationship and what I wouldn't.  I learned that I could do it on my own.  That I was stronger than I thought I was, that family was one thing I NEVER want to push away again, that friendships should NEVER be pushed to the side for any man.

I lived with mom and dad for almost a year, then bought my own house.  I had a great job (albeit busy with long hours), some good friends, and my own house.  I didn't need anything else...well...except a date here and there...  About a year after I bought my house, I met the man that is now my husband, Jeff.  He challenges me like no one ever has.  He respects me like no one ever has.  He supports and loves me like no one ever has.  He is my best cheer leader!   We now have two wonderful children, whom I talk of often on this blog, Kendall and Carson.

So - yes - a lot has happened over the last 20 years.  But some of the same qualities and insecurities I had in high school remain with me today.  How could they not?  I told that woman that I don't care what people think of me.  LIE!  Unfortunately - I'm a people pleaser - and it tears me up inside to think/know that someone doesn't like me or is unhappy with me.  BUT I am more confident in myself than I was then.  Is that what she saw?  That although I was horribly self-conscious in high school....I am more sure of myself today?

Who knows what lies ahead of me for the next 20 years...I wonder if she will think I "reinvented" myself again 20 years from now...

Hats

I was thinking about how many hats I tend to wear in one day...and at times it is overwhelming... In a typical day I wear all of the following hats:

1) Wife - to my husband
2) Mother - to my kids
3) Daughter - to my parents
4) Sister - to my sister
5) Friend - to my husband and other friends
6) Colleague/Co-worker - to the people I work with
7) Employee - to my company
8) Realtor - to my customers
9) Chef - for my family
10) Laundress - for my family
11) Bookkeeper - for my family
12) Housekeeper - for my family
13) Runner - for myself
14) Taxi driver - for the kids
15) Baker - for the kids mainly (although I do cheat and have some occasionally)
16) Parent - to the teacher's at the kids school
17) Leader - for my current placement in the Junior League
18) Teacher - to my kids
19) Master - to my dogs
20) Customer - to the many retail stores that I shop at/with
21) Doctor/Nurse - to my kids/husband when they are sick or not feeling well
22) Patient - when I am sick
23) Home Decorator - when trying to keep my home beautiful
24) Nutritionist - for myself mainly - but also for the whole family so that we all eat healthy

I'm sure I can come up with at least 20 more hats I wear on a typical day.  Just today - I have worn 15 hats - all before 10am!  On Monday I think I wore all of the hats but maybe 1 (Patient).  No wonder I sometimes feel as if I'm going in 100 directions at once!  Not to mention the fact that sometimes I feel like I have a split personality...  One second I'm on the phone (wearing my Realtor hat) talking to a customer, and the next I'm correcting my children for arguing with each other (wearing my Mother hat).  Of course there are times we all wear several hats at once...for example - as I'm wearing my Chef hat, trying to figure out what we will have for dinner, I'm also wearing my Wife hat ("Will my husband like this meal?"), my Mother hat ("Will the kids even take one bite of it?"), my Customer hat ("I need to run to Publix to buy x, y & z for the recipe"), and my Bookkeeper hat ("How much money have we spent on groceries this month"). 

What I wonder about (and sometimes actually struggle with) is this: is the person I am while wearing the Wife hat (or Parent, or Sister, or Runner or Teacher, or etc. etc. etc.) the same person I am while wearing any other hat in my "closet"?  In other words - if someone only recognized me by my attitude and behavior and general demeanor - would they recognize me regardless of what hat I was wearing.  Am I being the same person overall in all situations or am I a chameleon that changes depending on whom I'm around?  I know to a degree we have to change a bit.  For example - I wouldn't talk to a customer when I'm in my Realtor hat the same way I speak to my dogs when I'm in my Master hat ("NO!  Bad customer! Bad!").   But am I holding myself and conducting myself with the same integrity and genuineness in all situations?  Am I ALWAYS wearing the MOST important hat under all the hats that I could possibly wear:

Christ follower.

It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day...heck...the moment to moment - and forget that in ALL things we should be trying to show Jesus' light through us.  Do I preach the Gospel as I'm trying to sell homes - NO.  BUT am I conducting myself in a way that the person can see Jesus Christ shining through me?  Am I being truthful and honest and genuine and fair and loving and forgiving?  In my interactions with people, would they be surprised that I am a Christ follower? Am I conducting myself and behaving in such a way that it contradicts what Jesus has taught us?  Or if someone found out that I am a Christ follower - would they say "I'm not surprised at all.  Amy didn't 'preach' to us, but she treated us with love and respect and kindness in all situations."

With my Christ hat firmly attached to my head (hopefully), I now must slip on my Bookkeeper hat and go balance our checkbook. 

Have a blessed day!

New Lifestyle

I hesitate to even write this post - because I am not doing it to get nods of approval or congratulations.  I also don't want to offend anyone.  I just feel that with all the news about obesity and its staggering statistics/projections in the news recently (here), something needs to be said.

First off - I don't think that I can ever have considered myself obese...very overweight - yes.  But not obese.  Many people that know me and follow me on facebook, know that I've recently been working hard at losing weight.  I am at the gym 4-5 days a week, more if possible.  Since my training/working-out/healthy lifestyle began in September (right when the kids started school), I have lost 26.5 pounds.  Which comes out to approximately 3 pounds per month.  Some months I lose the weight really fast...some months it takes what seems like forever.  For example - it has taken me 3 months to lose the last 6.5 pounds...where I actually lost 6.5 pounds in a month and a half at one point.  I haven't gone to any meetings or had special food delivered through a service or seen a nutritionist or a personal trainer.  I did it...all on my own...except I did have a few things in my corner:

1) God.  At least a year ago - I remember being in this point in my life where I was miserable with my body.  I felt huge, unattractive, no energy...but I didn't have the motivation to change anything about myself.  So I prayed almost daily - "God, please either make me content in this body I'm in or give me the motivation to make changes to myself." He was faithful to me.  Now I'm being faithful to Him.  I would NEVER be in the position I'm in right now if it wasn't for my Lord.  When I am on the treadmill and feel like I can't take another step - I pray.  When I feel tempted to eat my way through the day - I pray.  When I lose a pound - I praise.  When my clothes feel loose - I praise.  God has been my personal trainer.  God has been my motivator.  God has been my work-out buddy.  My prayer now is to not only continue on this journey of being healthy and continue losing weight (I have about 15 more pounds to go), but to also start appreciating what I see in the mirror. 

2) Jeff.  My husband calls me "Skinny" all the time.  For example - "Excuse me, Skinny" as he passes by me.  Even though my clothes are smaller and I do have more energy and feel better about myself - when I look in the mirror, about 75% of the time I still see the girl I was 25 pounds ago.  I see the rolls.  I see the puffiness.  I don't see what I have transformed my body into.  So - I've told Jeff that he needs to tell me when it is time to quit - even if my scale says I still have more weight to lose to reach my goal.  I'm afraid I won't see it...and then will become unhealthy - by being too thin.  I have this feeling that if I didn't have my husband to help me - I could lose another 25 pounds and still see the bigger me.   Jeff has been my biggest supporter and cheerleader.  If it wasn't for a sprained ankle, he would be trying to train right along with me.  As it is, because I'm preparing healthier meals, and making sure we both eat breakfast, Jeff has lost 5 pounds himself. 

3) Friends.  I have an account on an app/website called MyFitnessPal.com (it is a FREE program and FREE app).  There - I have a food diary as well as an exercise diary.  I can track how many calories I've eaten and how many I've burned.  This way - I can see if I have eaten too many calories earlier in the day and need to watch what I eat for dinner...or if I haven't eaten enough and will stall my weight-loss.  Three of my very best friends are on this journey themselves...these are friends that I actually go on a "girls weekend" every summer.  So far - the 4 of us have lost a total of 97 pounds!!!  We encourage each other.  We cheer each other on when we see records of good work-outs or weight lost.  If they don't log on to their account for a few days - we check in with each other to make sure we are on target.  I know that if I have a bad weekend, and don't log onto the site to enter my foods...after a few days I will get an email "Amy...where are you?"   I rejoice when each of them lose ANY weight...because that is what they want to do.  April, Mini & Monica have been my rocks and my cheerleaders.  And I can't wait to get a picture of the 3 of us together this summer (Monica can't come this year)...and compare it to summer's past to really see the transformation!

Before I go much farther - I really feel like I need to say one thing.  If you are overweight and are happy in your own skin.  If you look in the mirror and are happy with what you see and feel sexy - then you ARE sexy.  If you look in the mirror and feel pretty - then you ARE pretty.  I know the doctors have told you to lose weight...and there are health concerns that have been backed up by scientific research that say that being overweight is hard on a body.  HOWEVER - until you feel like the person you are looking at isn't the person that is inside of you - it won't work.  I can't tell you how many diets I've been on.  I even paid a LOT of money through my gym at one time to do a boot-camp.  I made it 5 weeks (out of 10 I think).  I got sick (upper respiratory infection) and couldn't go to a few workouts - and then quit.  Didn't matter that I paid a lot of money to do it...I just quit.  I spent a lot of money and bought a body-bugg to wear on my arm to track my calorie burn each day and act as a kind of pedometer.  I wore it for all of maybe 3 months...  It is still sitting on my desk where I left it the last time I took it off.  I've been a member of Weight Watchers at least 2 times...  Through those times I wasn't happy with myself - but I also didn't see how big I had gotten in the mirror.  Finally - one day the person looking at me in the mirror WASN'T the person I felt like I was inside. And that is when I really got miserable...and started praying. 

With all the talk about weight and healthy lifestyles in the media...and all the warped images that we as women and our children are subjected to about what makes a woman sexy - it is no wonder that most of us have body issues.  We are shown by advertisers that in order to be sexy - you have to see not only your collar bones, but also your pelvic bones, through your skin.  THAT is UNHEALTHY!!!  Do you know what models eat?  NOTHING!  Celery and lettuce.  Champagne and cigarettes.  How in the world is that healthy???  Now - I'm not saying I'm the healthiest person in the world  - but I don't deprive myself at all.  If I want a cookie.  I eat a cookie.  If I want pizza.  I eat pizza.  BUT I don't eat 5 cookies...or an entire pizza.  AND I don't do it every day. 

I guess what I'm trying to say here - is that if you aren't happy and comfortable in your own skin - then it shows.  Reach out for help.  Find me on MyFitnessPal.com (MrsLadyBug1974) and I'll cheer you on and encourage you along the way.  Talk to your doctor and find out what he/she thinks would work best for you. If you need to join a program (like Weight Watchers) to get the support you need - DO IT! I've got another very good friend that has lost 30 pounds with Weight Watchers!!! (Great job Laura!!!)  But - most importantly - PRAY!  God is an awesome God and He can do wonderful things if you just ask.  Ask God to give you the wisdom and strength and motivation to make healthier choices...and He will!  He won't make the pounds melt off overnight.  God helps those that help themselves.  This is something you have to WANT and that you have to work at...it IS work!  PRAY!

Good luck.

Good kids?

I've got good kids.  Really.  I do.  I know that I complain about them a lot...but in all honesty - they are really, honest-to-goodness, GOOD kids.  They get in trouble at home for not listening (what child doesn't?), for fighting with each other, etc.  But they really do try to be good and they really do behave most of the time.  If there is any aggression shown by them - it is against each other (sibling rivalry and all) - and NEVER against anyone else.  That is why we are in shock over Carson's recent behavior problems at school...

Wednesday last week - Carson was being picked up from his regular classroom to go to his Occupational Therapy session with Ms. Miller (which happens EVERY Wednesday).  However - his class was watching a movie, and Carson didn't want to go...he wanted to stay and watch the movie.  So - he proceeded to throw a fit.  By the time they got into Ms. Miller's room - he not hit her 2 times, but he also threw a chair across the room.  !!!!!!!!!!  She made him stand in the middle of the room (where he couldn't get anything else to throw) until he finally calmed down and did some work.  His regular teacher, Ms. Scott, told Ms. Miller "Are you sure you are talking about Carson?" when she heard the story...

Then...today...well...  He and a little boy got into a little "tiff" about some blocks they both wanted to play with and neither wanted to share (NOT normal for Carson - he is normally very good about sharing - at least at school).  When a teacher came over to find out what was going on - he swung at her...then swung at 2 other teachers AND threw a block at one of the teachers! Carson was actually  brought to the Principal's office...my Pre-K kid was brought to the Principal's office!!!  Uh oh!!!!!!!!!! 

What has happened to my mild-mannered son?  Sure he throws tantrums here and there...and he gets stubborn, a little surly (like in the picture below) and a little defiant at times (what 4 year old doesn't?).  BUT for him to be that physical and aggressive is just NOT like him...

Jeff and I are not only in shock...but we are trying to figure out how to deal with this at home.  Jeff was always told that if you get in trouble at school - you get in even more trouble at home.  We just hope that we can nip this behavior in the bud before it becomes a regular pattern... We just want our smiling little fellow back....

It's Football & Cheerleading Season!!!

Well - okay - not really....if you are talking about high school, college or professional football. BUT for our kids we are just getting started!!!

Carson started Upwards Flag Football with his Daddy as coach. Officially...he isn't old enough to do it, but since Jeff agreed to coach - he is in! Funny thing is - no one can tell that Carson isn't as old as all the other kids on the team...because he is as big as if not bigger than all of them!!! He loves getting out there and running around. At first we were scared he wouldn't like it because he appeared to be afraid of the football when it was thrown at him to catch - but he is doing so much better! Plus - since Carson is such a big kid - the earlier we can get him into the culture of sports (football, soccer, etc.) the better the chances that we can look forward to athletic scholarships at a later date!!! haha BUT - I think that by FAR the best thing of all of this is what Jeff told me last night. Jeff said that he feels like he and Carson are actually getting closer (as Father/Son) by doing this together. That Carson is more spontaneous in expressing his love for his Daddy than he has been in the past. LOVE that! Anyway - here are a few pictures from their first football game.

Carson as Center.

Huddle! (LOVE how he sticks his butt so far out!! haha)

Getting ready to start.

Action shot!!!

My football star!

Kendall is also starting a new adventure - Upwards Cheerleading!!! She is so stinking cute with her uniform and pom poms! It is silly - but it actually reminds me of when I did cheerleading my freshman year in high school. She really needs to work on her "cheerleader clap", her "jelly arms", and yelling loud enough that someone other than the person beside her can hear her - but that is only a matter of time. What amazes me...is how quickly she acts like she is out of energy. As much as she is running around the house and playing - the fact that she keeps on wanting to sit down and "rest" during her practices and the game (which is only an hour) - makes me think I need to start a training regimen with her! haha Either that or pump her full of protein just before practices and games to give her that extra boost of energy. Here are a few pictures of her from her first official game.

Is this a telescope or a megaphone???

In formation...

Go Upwards!!!

Aren't I cute???

My beautiful cheerleader!

Perspective

Half-full or Half-empty?

Partly sunny or Party cloudy?

TomAto or Tomahto?

Perspective (per·spec·tive) /pərˈspɛktɪv/

1. a technique of depicting volumes and spatial relationships on a flat surface. Compare aerial perspective, linear perspective.

2. a picture employing this technique, especially one in which it is prominent: an architect's perspective of a house.

3. a visible scene, especially one extending to a distance; vista: a perspective on the main axis of an estate.

4. the state of existing in space before the eye: The elevations look all right, but the building's composition is a failure in perspective.

5. the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship: You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.

I have always pictured myself as the "glass is half full" kind of person...with an occasional trip down the other lane when times seemed especially challenging. I felt like I always tried to see the good in things and I always tried to keep positive in situations where I felt disturbed. I actually use a sense of humor that at some times in inappropriate to make tough times seem not so tough. As a defense mechanism, I use sarcasm and jokes to make tense times not so tense. And, at times, I know that it isn't appreciated by the person on the receiving end...

About 6 1/2 years ago, I just barely knew someone (who is now a very dear friend) who was pregnant with her second child. She was talking about her pregnancy and how they discovered that he was going to be missing his left hand from just below his elbow. This was obviously a VERY tough time for her and her husband and all their family. The first thought that came to my mind? "Guess you know he will be right handed." (By the way - I didn't say it to her at that time...we were friends before I confessed that inappropriate thought.) Oh - and her son is now a very normal, healthy, happy 6 year old...so much so that I often forget about his difference.

Over 15 years ago my sister was lying in a hospital bed in Honolulu, Hawaii in the ICU...my mom and dad and I were keeping her company and giving her support...and throughout those moments and when mom and dad and I would be talking about the whole situation outside of the hospital - I used humor to get me through. Sometimes appropriate...sometimes inappropriate. Oh - and my sister is now happily married with a beautiful daughter.

Although I don't think using humor is a bad thing...it has been my way of coping. Rather than actually allowing my emotions to complete their full rotation - I used humor to make myself "feel better"....or rather...to avoid the full brunt of the situation. Using humor (whether good or bad) helped give me a different perspective of whatever was going on. It is as if my mind searches to find the glimmer of hope or happiness or joy in what might otherwise be difficult. I mean - if you can't see something good - then how can you joke about it?

Unfortunately, though, sometimes seeing humor in a situation isn't all that is needed to really "get through" it.

Have you ever done a puzzle? You know - one of those HUGE puzzles - like over 1000 pieces - where the bottom left hand corner looks NOTHING like the top right hand corner...so it is hard to imagine how all the pieces will come together to make a beautiful picture? If you look at each individual puzzle piece and not anything else - you will never solve the puzzle. You have to look at the colors on the piece, the parts that stick out and the parts that don't...and then somehow - you find a piece it fits with. Most of the time - you have a picture on the box to help guide you...to give you perspective...so you have an idea where in the puzzle each piece will go. BUT - have you ever done a puzzle without looking at the picture? Some pieces would go together easy...but others...wow.

Our lives are like doing a puzzle without having the box to look at. We are one of the pieces...bumping around...trying to figure out where we fit...sometimes finding success...most of the time being frustrated that we just can't make it work. Sometimes I wish I was the Creator, so I could look down from His vantage point and get an idea of where in the world all of this is leading. I get so caught up in my day to day struggles...that I forget there are other puzzle pieces having a harder time than I am... The day to day struggles are easy to get bogged down in...and it is easy to feel sorry for myself. It is easy to only see the rock wall in front of me and ignore the foot holes that I can use to climb to the top of the wall and look around.

Another friend of mine, K, has a precious 10-year old son that has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Within the next 2 years he will be permanently confined to a wheelchair. And based upon statistics of others that have had the same condition, he will not live past his 20s. K and her family are now struggling trying to figure out how to afford not only a motorized wheelchair (after insurance they will still need to pay $20-30K out of pocket), a van that is equipped to handle the wheelchair ($60-70K), and modifications to their home so that their son can still function as a normal family member. Beyond the financial worries, they worry for their son's health, as well as the health of their other two beautiful children. They rely on their faith to give them strength...and God has never failed them in that regard. K and her husband are a couple of the strongest people I know.

And I found myself most of last year crying...about my son's speech delay...about my daughter's soiling accidents... My children are healthy...and do not have a condition that will take them from me in the next 10-15 years. I thought I was relying on my faith...but I wasn't. I really wasn't turning anything over to God. I was wallowing in my self-pity and forgetting one very important thing: my kids (with the exception of a few minor issues) are HEALTHY!

Now I'm not saying that I didn't have a reason to be sad...to be disappointed...to be frustrated and angry at times even. But to spend the last year only focused on my problems and focused on my frustrations.... God has put my friend K in my life to remind me that it could be different. To give me...

Perspective. I needed some. I prayed for some. God delivered.

Happy New Year!

So I have been a completely absent blogger as of late. In fact - my last post was called "Fall Busyness" and here we are already in February! Wow! My life isn't any more busy than normal...but I think that normal sometimes catches up with me and bites me in the rear end. So...now I am sitting at the dealership getting brakes put on my van...and after doing what little work that I needed to do and playing a game or two on facebook, I have no excuse not to blog. I have time...lots of it...at least another hour to hour and a half until my car is ready! BUT...what to write about? That is the question... In the craziness of life - I tend to forget the little funny moments that I should have recorded on here. Moments where the kids said or did something funny or endearing. Moments where there is such a fun story around the event that I know it would make people laugh. But - as I now sit at my computer ready to tell some of these moments...not one comes to mind. Not one.

Recently I discovered the IPhone 4s. I don't have it...I just discovered it. There is a feature on the phone where you can speak to it and have it make a list for you. I would say "Siri, add the story of when Kendall did..." into the phone, and "she", the phone, would add it to a list. Or...I could say "Siri, remind me to pick up Nutella at the grocery after I pick up Kendall from school"...and "she" would remind me! Wow. I am amazed at where technology is these days! Anyway - I plan on getting an IPhone in July when my contract is fully due for an upgrade. Not that I don't love my droid - I do. But - I NEED a phone that can do what the IPhone does. I think best when I'm in my car driving (what else is there to do...) and that is when I always remember all those things I need to do or pick up or organize. To be able to talk into my phone and not have to try to find a scrap of paper and a pen and write it down as I'm driving (NOT safe...) will be fantastic!

Anyway - my point of the whole above is that maybe by having my phone "remember" stories for me - I can start adding more significantly to my blog... and actually telling stories...not just giving a re-cap of my self-imposed busy life.

I recently discovered (along with most of America) a blog (http://momastery.com/blog)
where she tells stories. About her family, about her past, about her kids, about her worries and hopes and fears. She is so completely transparent it is refreshing! And it is a joy to read. She has a way with her words that draws the reader in and makes you feel like you can really identify with her. I had always hoped that I could write those kind of posts. But most of my posts seem forced and very surface. Without knowing the author - you feel like you really "know" her. How many of you, just from reading my blog, really know who I am and what kind of person I am?

Anyway - all of my ramblings above...more of a stream of consciousness than anything...are really to say

Happy New Year!!!

Only a month late... Oh well...

Fall Busyness

The kids are tucked safely in bed. Jeff is at a meeting. And I am trying to play catch up to the ever multiplying laundry that I NEVER can seem to get a hold of. As a matter of fact - my washing machine beeped at me about 5 minutes ago...and I've yet to go do something about it. I know that if I do manage to get it into the dryer this evening, and if I manage to put another load in the washer...there are at least 2 or 3 more loads after that I'll never get around to doing. Laundry is simply the bain of my existence. Please tell me - why is it that no one (including my husband) knows how to take their clothes off without them becoming inside out? I mean really? At least 50-75% of ALL the socks are inside out as they go through the wash...which means they don't get cleaned very good. So...in order to make sure all my laundry is actually clean (I mean...that is the point of doing it in the first place right?) I have to take 5-10 minutes just turning socks right side out. Argh. Also - could someone PLEASE invent receipt paper that doesn't disintegrate into a million little confetti balls in the dryer when it goes through in someone's pocket on accident. There is nothing worse than opening up the dryer only to have a mountain of tiny pieces of paper fall onto the floor in front of you.

Okay - enough venting. Life has been busy here. As usual. Kendall is now seeing a team of specialists at Nemours Children's clinic in Jacksonville to hopefully solve her soiling problem (see previous post here). Carson is doing GREAT with his speech therapy. In fact - the latest developmental inventory at his school shows his speech and language at a 5 year old level. We still think he needs more help with pronunciation...a LOT more help. But he really is doing tons better there! Now...we are hoping to get more work done on his motor skills. Some of his gross motor skills need some assistance, and he needs a lot of help on fine motor skills - specifically in regards to drawing/writing, etc. But - between his school and the additional therapy we are getting him outside of school - we are optimistic he will be caught up very quickly.

I am staying busy at real estate. I have one listing that is already in a contract. Another listing for a bank owned property in a condominium. And one (a single family home) that will be listed by the end of this week for the same bank that owns the condominium. I love the experience I'm getting and although I would like to be busier at times...I have to keep reminding myself that I am only part time. It is just that I get so excited and so gung ho...I have to reign myself in at times.

Here are just a few pictures.

The kids (Rally too) at Devil's Millhopper.

Jeff and the kids picking out just the right pumpkin for Halloween.

My friend Juliet from "Gnomeo & Juliet" (aka Kelly) and me (the bunny) at Trunk or Treat.

Kendall, Carson & Anthony getting ready to trick or treat. (Note the great looking Jack-o-Lantern that the kids and I carved out!)

And the summer has begun!!!

Wow! This school year has been a busy one! I am so glad that summer is here!

Wait...what??? You mean that summer is actually over??? WOW!!! That went FAST!

Kendall was in VPK at O2B Kids 5 days a week...Carson was in their "preschool" (aka daycare) 3 days a week...and I honestly cannot say how the summer went by so incredibly fast!!! Last summer it seemed to drag on and on and on... This summer...well...I really don't know how it is over already!

So...quick recap of the events of the summer: I changed Real Estate firms and am now with Coldwell Banker MM Parrish Realtors (click here), Carson turned 4 (OMG!!! my BABY is now 4 years old!!!), Kendall starts Kindergarten in 4 days. AHHHHH!!!!!

Tomorrow morning we have open house at her school, Oak Hall, where we will get to meet her teacher, and hopefully a few of the students in her class. How is it possible that I have a Kindergartner??? It seems like only yesterday I was bringing her home from the hospital...now she is in "real" school. I know I've always been the kind of mom that loves my time alone. I've had Kendall in "school" since she was almost 2 years old (Carson has been there since he was just over a year old). But I think knowing that there was the freedom of if I didn't want to send her to school someday for whatever reason I could...it didn't make it as "real" to me. Well...now...she can't miss just because I decide I want her home with me. She will actually be bringing homework home...I will have to be the kind of mom that actually tries to make sure she gets stuff done in the evening before she can play Wii.

Not only will this year be a transition for her...it will be one for me as well!!!

What isn't in words is made up in pictures.

I really don't know what I need to write about...just feel like I should write something as it has been three weeks since my last post. So...I'm going to try to re-tell a recent funny story with the kids.

Kendall's haircut:
One evening, about 30 minutes before Jeff got home from work, I was trying to encourage my kids to get their rooms cleaned up as they were horrible. I know that Jeff is better able to relax at home after a long day if the house isn't a complete disaster. Anyway - I am in Kendall's room helping her clean up and am on the floor in front of her dresser picking up small pieces of paper that had been cut out of "snow" she had cut out. As I brush my hand under her dresser to get a piece of paper, my hand comes out with a little bunch of about 2 inch long hair...Kendall colored hair. "Kendall honey, did you cut your hair?" I ask her. At this point, I look over at Kendall and she looks at me, looks at her bed, looks at me, looks at the door to her room. I can see the wheels turning in her brain...trying to figure out what she will get in trouble for more: 1) cutting her hair or 2) telling me she didn't cut her hair when she can plainly see that I have a little tuft of it in my hand. I ask her again, "Did you cut your hair honey?" "Uh huh?" was her reply. Trying to stifle my giggling, I say "Sweetie, I'm not mad at you, but did you cut it?" "Just a little bit," she almost whispers. "Where did you cut it?" I only ask her this because I honestly hadn't noticed any difference over the last couple of days. "Right here," she says motioning to the hair in front that just barely touches her shoulder (which is layered towards her face just a little). "And a little on this side, too." She is kind of fidgeting at this point and I can tell that she is reading herself for me to lecture her or get angry. Thankfully, God had given me the gift of a sense of humor at that very moment, so I just tell her that I'm not angry at all, it is her hair and if she wants to cut it to just let me know and I'll either help her or we will go see our hairstylist to have her help us. Kendall is pleased and we continue cleaning. Then I scoot my hand under her dresser again, and this time come out with the same amount of hair...but this time very coarse and jet black. Keep in mind that NO ONE in my family had hair that dark...not even the dogs. So I ask her, "Honey, did you cut one of your Barbie doll's hair too?" She stops and has that same look of "uh oh...what do I do here" on her face. "No, Mommy. Remember, my hair is getting darker and darker." At this point it is all I can do to not bust out laughing...

Sad thing is...I've actually had quite a few funny stories lately that I've told Jeff in the evenings after kids are in bed...but unfortunately my brain isn't working right now and I can't remember a thing. ARGH! I'll probably remember something as soon as I turn off the computer for the night... I need to keep a little notepad by the bed so I can jot down notes and re-tell them here. (Yes Mom...I know...you are right...I should have posted the stories the same day they happened so I wouldn't forget...)

So - here are a few pictures of our happenings lately to tide you over until I return.

After spending a near fortune on new rain gear for the kids (rain jackets, boots and umbrellas to match), I let the kids play in the rain and puddles one afternoon. So fun!

Kendall is done with pre-school!!! This is a picture of her very last day...compare it to this one (here) of her very first day. WOW!!! Can't believe she was ever that little!!!

This is Kendall and one of her teachers, Ms. Smith. Kendall will miss you!!!

And here is her "Graduation" picture.

And last but not least...We got a BOAT!!! We have been out on it several times and are going out again this coming weekend with my folks. Here are a few pictures from different times (and bodies of water) we have been on it so far.

And it has a name...

Most of you that know me and my family know that we have struggled with Kendall and her bowel movements...for years...literally. We started potty training her when she was just over 2 years old... Started...failed...stopped. Started...failed...stopped. Finally - when she was about 3-3 1/2 she finally "got it" in regards to her urination. She also knew how to control her BMs, but refused. How did I know that she knew how to control them? Well - she would hold them in all day long at school...and as soon as she saw me to bring her home, she would release (she knew that if she had a BM at school, they would call me and I would have to take her home). When she was working towards a goal - she controlled it like a champ. But the minute she got her goal...she stopped. Just before she turned 4, we started her in play therapy...hoping that whatever the issue was would be taken care of through that. After doing one hour of play therapy one day a week for over 6 months...no progress...at all... So we stopped play therapy and prayed. Finally - the first part of May 2010 (just before we left for a family cruise)...she "got it". Whatever behavioral, control issues she was going through ended...and what followed was about 6 months of almost bliss! No more accidents...just like that. No issues at all. What had previously been constant stress and frustration was suddenly resolved - for her and Jeff and I. I have no doubt whatsoever that prior to this point - her BM issues were a behavioral thing and any punishment was justified.

Fast forward to the end of November, 2010...just after her 5th birthday...she comes home from school three days in a row with really bad "wiping" problems. (Keep in mind that she hadn't had ANY issues for over six months...) We tell her that she needs to work on it and we will help her as best as we can. Then the next two days in a row she has "accidents". After dealing with this yet again...stress, frustration, crying (on my end more than hers I think)...just before Christmas we bring her to the doctor because Kendall swears that she can't help it, that she has a "bug" in her belly. Ms. Pat (a Nurse Practitioner (?)) does a rectal exam on her, and says that "I can't cure stubbornness". She then tells us that her sphincter isn't very strong, so we probably need to re-train her bowels. So - we were told to go home and give her an enema (the worst experience Jeff and I have ever had...not to mention Kendall) - and then give her mineral oil every morning mixed with grape juice. We told Kendall (supporting her with the "bug" theory) that the mineral oil/grape juice is medicine to get the bug out. Again...bliss for three or four weeks. Then...mid January - we learn about Carson being developmentally delayed...and I have a really hard time dealing with it...thus stress in the house...and more accidents from Kendall.

Fast forward to now...we have been dealing with "accidents" now on and off since then. We've gotten angry...cried...made threats...promises...nothing has worked. Then - after one particularly bad week - I started researching on the internet hoping to find someone that is going through the same thing that I was. Little did I know, Jeff was doing the same thing. We both came across the term "encopresis" (for more information on this condition, go here), but neither of us really thought it was the issue. BUT...what I read sat in my head and every time she had an accident, I thought of the stuff I read and the descriptions from parents in forums. Last week - after another really bad week...we went to the doctor (to have the doctor look at an injury of Carson's that was infected) and asked about Kendall. I brought up encopresis, and based upon my description, Ms. Tayna (a Nurse Practitioner) agreed that it is most likely what it is. She said it is VERY common...and in the cases she has seen, that she recommends just giving the children MiraLax every night, and try to make set potty times (like after breakfast in the morning) to encourage a movement.

Although I know we have a long way to go, I am confident that this is a physical issue that she can't control...at all... She is just as surprised as I am most of the time that there is any soiling in her underwear...she simply doesn't know it has happened... If you open the link above and read about the condition - she is pretty much a textbook case. Knowing this does a few things for me: 1) makes me feel guilty about the number of times I've screamed and punished her over accidents that she really couldn't help and 2) gives me hope...because now I know that with our doctor's help - and most importantly - God's healing - we will get through this.

I don't have any idea how many of you out there that read this blog are going through the same thing we are...if any of you are at all. If you are though, you are not alone. I have felt alone and frustrated and scared for a long time. And now I feel we have an answer and will hopefully see a resolution in this very soon.

Things I don't want to ever forget

Yesterday afternoon as I was snuggling with my little boy, I said a quick prayer to God to not let me forget moments like that. What most of you don't know...is that I have a HORRIBLE memory. Truly. I am pretty much positive that when I am old and grey I WILL get Alzheimer's. I feel sometimes like I have it now. Half of the people from high school that I'm now "friends" with on facebook...I couldn't tell you anything about them. Some of the names sound vaguely familiar...but that is about it. What is really annoying (and embarrassing) is when people remember things and say something to me about them. Like the other day Mom and I were talking about my sister nursing her new little girl, Ginny. Mom said something about how dry and sore and cracked the nipples can get and asked if I remembered that from when I was nursing Kendall. Um...no...not really. Then Mom said "You don't remember how you used to bleed a little a couple times?" OHHH...yeah...I do vaguely remember calling Kendall our little vampire because I did start bleeding a little bit (but the doctor said it wouldn't hurt her). But it is so fuzzy in my memory...that I almost feel like it didn't actually happen to me...that it happened to someone else and I just heard the story. When people sit around chit chatting and telling stories...if someone looks at me and says "Amy, tell them about the time that..." I always hesitate a little bit...because I know that either I will miss big parts of the story or I'll tell it wrong or over embellish because I don't remember... I've never forgotten the big things - like who my family is and where I live (so no...I'm not going through early onset Alzheimer's)...it is the details that I forget...and then eventually - I forget pretty much everything. High school is already fuzzy...I only have bits and pieces from before that...most of my first marriage I've forgotten (probably out of self-preservation)... But - I really do pray that I don't forget most of the good stuff from the kids...like:

Kendall - she is absolutely stunning when she wakes up in the morning. Something about the mussiness of her hair surrounding her little round face with pink cheeks...takes my breath away almost every morning. She LOVES to hug and give kisses. Constantly. She will sing to herself, making up the song as she goes along. She NEVER stops talking...I've even heard her talking in her sleep. She is ultra sensitive...if a friend at school doesn't want to play with her for whatever reason, she is wrecked for the rest of the day.

Carson - LOVES to cuddle with me when he first wakes up from his nap. Sometimes he only needs 5 minutes...sometimes he needs 30. When he isn't being a typical 3 year old...he loves to hold my hand when we are walking somewhere. He is such a sweet kid that I do forget that when he is being difficult (which is like 50% of the time...). Where Kendall does a closed lip smile when you ask her to smile for a picture, Carson is great at giving a great big cheesy grin....most of the time. He always has a toy in his hands...normally a car or a train or an airplane (thanks Grandpa)...sometimes his pirate sword.

Here is a picture of them from Easter. Grandma & Grandpa bought them their outfits...and Kendall was so proud of her little purse. Where did she learn to pose like that??? haha And there is Carson's mischievous little smile...you know he is always up to something...

One quick story that I do need to tell...otherwise I'm sure I'll forget it. Last Saturday morning we all went up to Grandma and Grandpa's house for the night (they had a shrimp and crawfish boil on Saturday afternoon). Well - Saturday morning Jeff and I are running around the house - getting our stuff packed up and picking the house up so that our house/pet sitter could actually function and not feel like she was walking into a mess. Anyway - the bags were all in the hall leading to the garage, Jeff was in his office doing something, and I was in the kitchen finishing writing a note to our sitter. I hear Carson call me to the laundry room (which is between the hall and the garage door) to help him. I walk over and he has his arms extended over the sink and is up on his tip toes trying to reach the faucet like he wants to wash his hands. So I say "You want to wash your hands buddy? Why don't you..." then I notice that his hands are a light blue. "Carson, what is on your hands?" I ask, then turn my head just a little to see the bottle of Downy open on the washing machine...the lid/cup sitting next to in in a ring of the liquid...and blue streaks all down the front of the machine...into a good size puddle of blue on the rug and tile floor... Apparently - Carson wanted to help do laundry...opened the bottle of Downy and managed to pour a ton on his hands...the rug...the front of the machine... I WISH I would have had the good sense to grab the camera and take a picture...ah well... hopefully I've described it enough that you can imagine what happened!

A new chapter

Life has been crazy busy as usual...but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel where things are going to slow down significantly for myself. Officially on May 31, I will no longer be the VP of Finance for the Junior League of Gainesville, as the new year begins for the JLG and leadership switches and swaps. I will still be very active in the JLG, and will be a member of Nominating and Placement - but my actual time commitment will most likely drop by over 50%!!!

One thing I want to impress upon whomever is reading my blog - is that I really enjoyed being Treasurer and the VP of Finance. The time commitment was huge, the amount of emails I received on a daily basis is staggering...but the impact on me was life-changing! It has to be one of the most rewarding positions I've ever had! I was able to work closely with such a great group of women that are passionate about helping the community. And although my hands were not the ones actually out there doing the "grunt" work...my position was no less important. Someone has to take care of the finances...and in a not for profit organization, the goal is to spend as little as possible doing that. YES we have an accountant that files our taxes each year. And YES we have a bookkeeper that helps us with some of the day to day data entry that can be pretty overwhelming...and also answers the questions that someone like me with no finance or accounting background was constantly asking! But I have this knowledge now and this confidence that if someone or some other organization was to ask me to help them with their finances in a similar position - I actually have a clue as to what I'm doing! How fantastic!!!

Without my affiliation with the JLG and without someone's encouragement to take the Treasurer position back in October of 2009 - I never would have felt the way I do now. One of the goals of the JLG is to help train and educate women within the organization so that they can in turn go out and be civic leaders in the community. I can say without a hesitation that the JLG certainly did this for me!

If you are currently in the JLG or in a JL somewhere else in the country - I would encourage you to take the leap and step into a leadership position! I know the thought can be overwhelming and a little daunting...but trust me - IT IS WORTH IT!!!

You know it's been a long time when...

So quite a few people have asked me how I've been doing with couponing as I haven't posted anything in a while. Honestly - not that bad. March was a bad month. My heart just wasn't in it...but I still managed to spend under $1000 for groceries...which is about $200 less than we were averaging last year. After a very successful shopping trip yesterday morning (Total OOP $53.63, Total Savings $109.56), two things happened: 1) I got re-invigorated by the whole thing, and 2) I did bookkeeping for our family and compared spending to date from this time last year. So far in 2011 I've saved our family $1100 compared to what we spent last year! If that is all I ever do...If I can save $1000 per quarter...that is $4000 a YEAR!!! However...as I said - I really didn't do very good in March. So I still think I can make a bigger difference going forward. Speaking of making a difference - I stumbled upon a great website. Zeal for a Deal takes the weekly ad with coupon match-ups and figures out how by spending only around $3, you can provide $20-35 worth of groceries to those in need! I started thinking about what I've said in this very blog...about donating things that I don't need or want, but can get either free or at a good price. However - I haven't been great about doing that lately... Unless I could get it free or "make money" on the deal - I really didn't give it a second look. In other words - if it didn't take any extra effort on my part, then I was willing to buy and donate. However - at my church we are currently studying and having a sermon series (in addition to small group bible studies on the same matter), a book called "The Hole in Our Gospel" by Richard Stearns. (see more about it here - I highly recommend it if you want to challenge yourself) It is an amazing book that questions how we as Christians actually "walk the walk" rather than just "talking the talk"...or rather - how we haven't been doing that. So - my plan is to now be more deliberate when I'm doing my grocery planning, and deliberately buy OOP $5-10 per week items for the hungry/needy in our community...regardless if it is items that I can use myself in my family. For example - my coupon websites that I frequent in doing my planning, have some GREAT deals not only on Crest toothpaste, but also on Oral-B toothbrushes. Great enough that I should be able to "buy" 10 tubes of toothpaste and 10 toothbrushes. Do we need that many in our family? Sure we will someday go through them...but we don't need 10! So - I'm going to "buy" 10 of each...and donate 8. Another great deal is Mueller's pasta. It is BOGO (starting on Thursday), and with a coupon I have, I can buy two boxes of pasta for only $0.39. At this point - we really don't need any more pasta in the house...but I plan on buying at least 6 or 8 boxes and donating them. Also - Wish Bone salad dressing is BOGO. I wish I could say that my family eats a lot of salad...but we don't...so that is something I would normally have overlooked. However, with coupons and the sale, I can buy 4 bottles for less than the regular price of one. Imagine if all of us used the free resources that are out there and really tried to do this. The food banks would be busting at the seams with food...needy families wouldn't be turned away from the shelters when they are looking to eat...and it would only cost each of us $3-5 a week!!! What a difference that would make!!!

$2.60!!!!

First of all - let me preface this by saying that I pretty much look at rebates/gift cards as "free money." I know that typically you had to spend money out of pocket in order to get the rebate...but I do not ever actually count on getting the money until it is in my hand. So - that being said...my total OOP today on my groceries is because I had a rebate gift card for something I mailed in last year (December 2010).

Here is my fantastic shopping trip (skip ahead if you don't want to see every last thing):

4 boxes Aunt Jemima frozen pancakes
14 boxes Green Giant frozen veggies
1 loaf of bread
4 boxes Yoplait Gogurt
4 packages Ball Park Bun Size Franks
4 bottles Sundown Vitamin B-6 (50 mg, 150 ct)
1 gallon milk
4 packages Hershey's Milk Boxes
6 28oz cans Hunts Tomatoes
8 boxes Totino's Party Pizza
2 bags Dunkin Donuts Whole Bean coffee
4 packages Progresso Bread Crumbs
4 cans Progresso soup
4 boxes Progresso 100% chicken broth
4 jars Bertolli Pasta sauce
2 jars Crisco 100% Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 bag Dog Food
1 package Pull-ups
3 2lb Pork Tenderloins

Total Savings - $147.22 ($56.54 of that was just on Publix's BOGOS and special sales...which makes another $90 in coupons!!!); Total rebate gift card - $84.69; Total OOP - $2.60!!!!

I'm thrilled!!!! Even if you take the gift card out of the picture - I had over a 63% savings today!!! With it...I'm at a 99% savings!!!!

How are you all doing with your coupons and savings? Isn't this fun!!!!

Rushing and Rushing and Rushing

Now that Carson has been in his new school officially a week (Wednesday last week through today), we are starting to get into a little routine of sorts:

5:30am - Jeff's alarm goes off (meaning the radio or iPod starts), and the coffee grinder on our coffee pot (Cuisinart Grind and Brew) goes off
5:45am - Carson wanders into the room carrying floppy (his lovie) and whatever toy he went to bed with the night before (Jeff and I think that the coffee pot wakes him up)
6:00am - either myself or Jeff stumbles into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee for each of us, make juice for the kids, give our oldest dog his medicine (he has to get it twice a day 1 hour before he eats), check and see if the paper is here yet (9 times out of 10 it isn't). ALSO - Kendall's alarm (radio) goes off
6:15am - I realize what time it is and that I'm not even dressed yet...so I race into the bathroom to throw on my clothes and try to make my face and hair look decent. ALSO - Kendall's alarm (buzzer) goes off
6:35am - as Jeff is just getting into the shower (or just getting out) I urge Carson out of our room and to the other side of the house to get him dressed. I open Kendall's door, and despite the alarm going beep-beep-beep, she is still sound asleep. So, I turn on the light, touch her to wake her up and then run into Carson's room. As I'm getting Carson dressed...or rather trying to encourage him to do it himself...I'm yelling over to Kendall to get out of bed and start getting dressed because we are now running late (always???)
6:40am - Carson is now dressed, and I continue to gently (yeah right...) urge Kendall to get dressed.
6:45am - Jeff is typically coming into the kitchen now, and either starts to make breakfast for the kids or comes into help me get Kendall dressed.
6:50am - Kendall is FINALLY dressed and I run a brush through her hair real quick as we run into the kitchen to eat whatever Jeff has made
7:05am - Tell kids for the 100th time to stop talking and eat their breakfast while I am cleaning up the kitchen and making sure all the beds are made
7:10am - Finally done (or at least most of the way done) with breakfast, I usher the kids into the bathroom to brush teeth, then change Carson's diaper, encourage Kendall to use the potty, etc. Realize we haven't fed the dogs yet and rush to try to get that done
7:15am - we are throwing on our coats/jackets and walking out the door with bags and lunchboxes in hand, and a to-go cup of coffee for me
7:45am - arrive at Carson's school and walk him to his room
8:00am - arrive at Kendall's school and walk her in
8:01am - BREATHE!!! (then do whatever little errands I need to do all morning long or go home and sleep...yeah right...)
12:50pm - pick up Carson at school
1:00pm - pick up Kendall at school
1:30pm - arrive at Gainesville Health and Fitness Center and check kids into kids club, then head to bathroom to change into workout attire then head up to the treadmill
2:40pm - pick up kids from kids club, where I've been paged at least 2 times because Carson has a poopy diaper
3:05pm - get home and put Carson down for a nap
6pm-6:30pm'ish - Jeff gets home from work/dinner
7pm'ish - clean up from dinner and make lunches for the kids for school the next day
7:45pm - realize what time it is and put the kids to bed
8:15pm - kids finally in bed...45 minutes after we really wanted them there...and we collapse...

To fill in all the blank spaces of time...there is grocery shopping, laundry, bookkeeping, etc. I feel like every day is packed! On the days that we don't have to rush out of the house (which is rare) I don't want to do anything at all... Then, of course, there are days that we are eating breakfast in the car... I think I sometimes eat more meals in my car than I ever do at home! Is every one's life like this?? Really?? Wow...