On my way taking Kendall to school this morning, I was smiling as she rattled away about the cars and trucks and trees. Pointing out the "big 'ruck" and the "white car" and "green trees" and school "bus" that she saw outside of her window. I realized that there are some things, about both my children, that I really want to remember. So...I have decided that I need to rededicate myself to my blog... I've been HORRIBLE about writing on it...obviously. But - in the knowledged that my A.D.D. might kick in again and I will have another two weeks go by before I write again - here are some of the things that have been on my mind lately:


Kendall - she knows just about all her main colors: red, black, white, green, pink, purple, orange. However...for some reason she gets blue and yellow confused. We ask her what color the school bus is and she says "bue". We ask her what color the sky is and she says "yeyow". I know that she is still young learning her colors - but I find it so cute that she gets those two completely opposite colors confused.


Carson - he kisses me! Seriously! I know that at only 4 months old he really doesn't know what kissing is...but as I'm holding him close to me, he will grab hold of the hair on the back of my head, pull my head to his mouth and open mouth kiss my cheek or my chin or my nose - whatever gets close to him. And it isn't like he is searching for food...because he doesn't suck or gum on my face - just open mouth kiss, every once in a while I'll even feel his little tounge touch my face. It is so completely endearing!!!

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Ok...so the above was actually written 2 weeks ago...on the 16th (today is the 30th)...and then I got distracted...and never finished what I was writing or posted it. So...hopefully if the ADD doesn't kick in again...I'll have a new post right after this one (at least within a day or two...)

Focusing on the positive...

I think that one of the unfortunate traits of being a human being...is always focusing on the negative things in day to day life. I know not everyone does this...but the majority of people, such as myself, do. I find myself, especially on days that are challenging, only paying attention to the "bad" or "frustrating" things that my children do, instead of the good and exciting and cute things that they do. Therefore - I'm going to take a minute and reflect on some of the moments of being a mom to two beautiful children that I want to remember forever:


Mornings in my house, I honestly think, are the best part of my day. Normally, Kendall will wake us up around 7ish (this is after Jeff hits the snooze on his alarm from 6:30 on forward - so we are basically awake - just delaying the inevitable). Most of the time she is happy when she wakes up. We can hear her talking to her animals in her crib - just jabbering away. So Jeff will get up, go out and get the paper, then go to Kendall's room. If it is a day that he knows we (me, Carson & Kendall) have no place to be right away, then he will just change her diaper and leave her in her pajamas. If it is a school day, then he will change her into her outfit for the day. Then I will hear them in the kitchen as he pours her a cup of juice and coffee for each of us. Squealing as she runs, she will appear in the doorway, hair flying and a huge grin on her face. "Nommy!" she will yell as she sees me still sitting in bed across the room. She will run to my side of the bed and say "Up. Up." I will lift her up and hug her and kiss her and we will talk about how she slept. Jeff will wander in, a hot steaming cup of coffee in each hand and the morning paper tucked under his arm. He will hand me my coffee, which I accept greedily, then walk back over to his side of the bed and sit down. Somewhere, either right before this or right after, Carson will wake up and the four of us will sit in bed watching TV ("The Wiggles" at 7am, followed by "Higglytown Heroes" at 7:30am), reading the morning paper, Jeff shaving his face with his electric razor. My whole world is right there in that room, sitting on the bed, at least for a little while until Jeff realizes he needs to get in the shower and get to work and the kids and I need to get dressed and moving.

As much as I complain about the fact that Kendall talks nonstop...and I mean nonstop...while we are driving somewhere, I wouldn't change it for the world. Besides pointing out every car and truck on the road (especially those that look like her Daddy's), she loves to sing with me ("Wheels on the Bus" and "Baa Baa Black Sheep" and "Five Little Speckled Frogs" are a few of her favorite right now) and make sure I know that she sees everything outside her window. It is amazing how far she has come from just a year ago...you could say that we almost carry on conversations. No, the conversations aren't complex by any means ("Car!" "Yes, Kendall, it is a car. What color is it?" "White!" "Yes, Kendall! The car is white! Good job!"), but they are conversations nonetheless and she relishes the fact that I can understand most of what she is saying now. Plus her "sentences" are getting more and more complex. "We go Nommy's new car!" "More juice peas!" "Daddy's ruck white!" It is amazing that not so long ago, she is where Carson is today. He is verbalizing like crazy! There are days that he coos and gurgles all day long. The only thing that stops him is if he is asleep or has a bottle in his mouth.

Carson is such a happy baby. I've been told that I "smile with my eyes". Until I had Carson, I don't know if I ever really knew what that meant. If you were to cover up his face from his nose down, and he smiled - you would know it! His whole face lights up. He giggles and coos and smiles so easily. He is also trying to figure out how to work his little pudgy fingers. I love when I am holding him facing me and he is standing up on my lap. He will reach out and touch me all over my face, grabbing my lip or my nose - whatever he can figure out how to wrap his little sausages around. I've never met a blind person (at least not well enough for them to want to "look" at me by touching my face), but that is what Carson reminds me of when he is doing that. It is like he isn't only memorizing my face by looking at me...but by feeling me too.

On the way home from dinner tonight, we turned off the radio and sang songs all the way home. One of Kendall's other favorite songs is about visiting the farm. It goes "I went to visit the farm today. I saw a _______ across the way. What do you think I heard it say?" So...if the animal was "cow", you would sing "Moo moo moo." We were having Kendall pick out the animals for me to sing, then she would sing the animals sound. You could just hear her little gears in her head turning as she came up with more animals for me to sing about. In fact...she threw out "cars" and "trees" as well...I'm still not quite sure what the "tree" said...

Anyway - there are so many times during the day I can get frustrated so easily...and unfortunately - it is those frustrating times that I tell Jeff about when he comes home at night. I need to try harder to forget the frustrating times and remember the good times. Like tonight - Kendall went to bed so easily. We did her normal bedtime routine and put her down...and even though I gave her a quick tickle as I was lying her down...she still went right to sleep. Or this afternoon at the Gator Homecoming parade - Carson was just so darn cute in his little outfit and matching hat (I really should have taken a picture...I'm getting bad about taking pictures again...). Or the other day when I was holding both Carson and Kendall on my lap, and she was hugging him and kissing him and he just smiled and cooed at her and tried to touch her face as he stared at her. There are so many moments that I smile at my kids...and I really do smile so much more than compared to the "rough" times...

Being a mom is hard. Really hard. It is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year...even if you aren't around them...you think about your kids. I have had to learn to sacrifice my own quiet time...my own "work" time... I don't normally watch what I want to on TV. I've eaten more than my share of grilled cheese sandwiches and macaroni and cheese and hot dogs... I don't have much of an outlet to "challenge" my mind on a regular basis. Being a mom is really mindless work in a lot of ways...which makes it that much harder. Unfortunately, when I am tired and frustrated, I think of all the "things" I've given up to be a mom. I need to "rewire" my brain to start thinking about what I've gained becoming a mom - more love in my heart than I could have ever imagined.

October is already over???

So...as much as I had planned on updating my blog time after time...a month later I finally am attempting to do so. And what a month it was!!! So here are some brief snippets of October:

The first weekend of October we went to Jacksonville to take my Dad out to dinner for his 60th birthday. We went to Roy's - GREAT food and atmosphere!!! After dinner my sister and Mom played with Carson - here are a few pictures.

The next weekend Kendall, Carson, Jeannine (Jeff's mom) and I went to the High Springs fall festival...which took all of 30 minutes... BUT Kendall did get to go on her first pony ride (not too sure if she really enjoyed it...) and she got to ride in someone's makeshift train. Plus we saw some friends who have a daughter who will be 3 in January. Kendall is already bigger than her and she isn't even 2!!! But aren't they adorable together??? There was a few musicians playing - and Kendall even got to dance. When we left to go to the car to get lunch...Kendall kept crying "dance dance"...do I sense a vocation in her future already???

The next weekend was an away football weekend...and the only weekend that was available for Carson to be baptised (it seems that our lives revolve around Gator football in the fall...). So...Saturday afternoon we had some friends over to watch the game. One of our friends made some moon pies (aka "whoopie pies") and Kendall just LOVED them...as you can see from the cream all over her face. :) I also am putting a picture of our friend's son Wyatt - who will be one this week...this will give you an idea of how big of a kid that Carson is...he is only like 2 inches shorter than Wyatt...

Anyway - Sunday the 21st (my sister's birthday as well) Carson was baptised. Here is a pictures of my mom and dad with Carson and a few from the ceremony.

Finally...the last weekend of October was the Florida/Georgia football game in Jacksonville. So...of course we went to Mom and Dad's and got free babysitting! haha Actually - they had intended going and my sister and a friend of her's were going to watch the kids - but both Denise and her friend got sick...so Mom and Dad offered to watch my two kids and the 3 kids of a friend (13, 10 and 1 - although only the 10 year old and 1 year old came up). Lets just say that although all the kids were good for Mom and Dad...they were definitely ready for us to get home after a full day of watching a 10 year old...2 year old...1 year old...and 3 1/2 month old... In my books - they are saints!!! And of course...I forgot to take pictures even though I toted my camera along with us to Jax.

Halloween!!! Kendall was supposed to be a "fairy princess" all set with wings and everything... But she refused to wear the wings - I only got one picture of her with them on. Carson was a "cowboy"...I was a black cat. And again...I didn't take hardly any pictures - so not much to show. Kendall was so cute though. This year I got her to run up the walk to each house's door...knock on the door and wait. She would turn around and face me while she was waiting - and I would say "Turn around Kendall" and she would start spinning in circles. It was so funny. She was so cute though...running up the walk with her pumpkin in her hand...what a big girl! I can't believe how fast she is growing up!

Ok...so I think I covered everything for the month...oh!!! RIGHT!!! I almost forgot - we have a new addition to our family! We traded in my Toyota Camry for a Toyota Sienna (mini-van). I LOVE my new van!!! It is great!!! So many bells and whistles - I just love it! No pictures of it yet...but I'm sure I'll get a couple here sooner or later...

Wow! What a weekend! Thursday, Jeff got off work early and we left for Atlanta around 2pm to visit some dear friends that moved there from Hollywood, FL in April. A bout 6 1/2 hours, 1 dinner stop, 1 gas stop, and 1 potty/diaper changing stop later...Jeff and I gladly threw the then fussy children at our friends and collapsed on their couch, each of us with a beer in hand. Overall - the kids did GREAT! Being strapped into a car seat for a long time at any age isn't fun...and at 22 months and 2 1/2 months - explaining that it isn't forever falls on deaf ears. So by the time we got there...poor little Carson was just inconsolable as I tried to put his unwanted Nuk in his mouth...and Kendall was whining and crying and wiggling in her car seat...and no amount of "hush"es or "shhh"s or "we'll be there soon, we promise" could calm either of them down. The last 1 to 1 1/2 hours were by far the worst of the trip. We were so happy to see Lance and Alicia and their boys, Griffen and Aidan! So after letting Kendall unwind her energy for about an hour - we finally put her to bed in her pack and play (expecting her to fight since it wasn't her normal bed...but she didn't at all!!!), and Jeff and I collapsed in the guest room thankful that Carson doesn't know any better.

Friday, the boys were at school, Lance was at work, and Alicia had errands she had to run - so Jeff and I took the kids and went to the Georgia Aquarium in downtown Atlanta. Amazing how trying to figure out directions to someplace unknown in a city full of CRAZY drivers can turn the best marriage into one of bickering and tight lips... I digress... Anyway - one note of warning to anyone wanting to visit the Aquarium - ignore the "park stroller here" signs...most people do anyway. We didn't figure it out until the 2nd "attraction"...but it is probably good that I had taken Carson out of his stroller - because as I'm holding him I feel as well as hear him fill his diaper. Shortly thereafter - my arm starts to get a little wet...Not only did he fill his diaper - he exploded his diaper!! One of the best pieces of advice my mother ever gave me is this: Always carry an extra set of clothes in your diaper bag for your child! I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've put that advice to use!!! Anyway - after changing his entire outfit and washing my arm...I met Jeff in the overpriced cafeteria (2 cheesburgers, one hotdog, 2 french fries, 2 cokes and an apple juice for over $28!!!) for lunch. Then we continued onto the rest of the attractions - WITH the stroller - which made things so much more enjoyable all around. When we were done at the aquarium...we decided that Kendall wasn't exhausted enough - so we walked about a block to the Childrens Museum of Atlanta (maybe "of Art"...not sure...). Let me tell you what - I only wish that Gainesville had one of these!!! We all had a blast!!! As parents - its amazing how just watching your child enjoy herself makes it all worth it for you as well! They had so many areas for Kendall to play - balls, sand (moon sand), painting, "fishing", slides...we literally had to remove her from the building kicking and screaming because she was having so much fun! I decided that if they had one of those here in Gainesville - we would probably be at it at least once a week if not more...

Friday night, Aidan and Griffen each had a baseball game, so Jeff went with Lance and Alicia - and I stayed home (with a splitting headache unfortunately) with Kendall and Carson and got them to bed. Neither boy won their game that night - but Aidan did win the game ball!!!

Saturday, the boys had games again (which they both won!!!) So, Alicia took them to the game and Lance, Jeff, the kids and I went to a corn maze. It was so much fun!!! I held Carson in a snugli, and we let Kendall walk on her own. She is such a trooper!!! The maze was a total of 7 acres - and with the exception of just a few times - she walked the entire maze on her own...in 90 degree heat...with flying grasshoppers constantly jumping in our faces...I think she did better than I did!!! haha I didn't bring the camera with me...which I regret horribly...because I would have loved to have gotten some pictures from that day - she was so cute!!! But...isn't she always??? Carson was such a little trooper too! Being in a snugli against mommy isn't exactly the coolest place to be...but he was perfectly happy...slept most of the time...but didn't complain when he was awake. One of the things that impressed me the most about the maze - was they had "markers" at different points to try and help you get through the maze quicker. Each marker had a question - and if answered correctly - would move you right along. Anyway - the questions were Bible trivia! What a great way to not only make money for your family - but provide a ministry opportunity to the community!!!

Anyway - we came home on Sunday...this time after 7 hours, 1 gas stop, 1 lunch stop & 1 nursing stop later...and gladly let Kendall run around the house to wear herself out before we put her to bed. As much as we enjoyed seeing Lance and Alicia - coming home is always great isn't it??? Of course...I am just now finishing up the laundry and unpacking from our trip...but that is just because I am lazy and haven't dedicated myself to my tasks.

Well - along with my blog have been a few pictures from the weekend. FYI - Griffen is the oldest (11 years old), Aidan is the youngest (6 years old). And...last but not least...are two of the most wonderful people in the world (and God parents to our kids) - Lance and Alicia. Love you guys!

Day 2

Well today was Kendall's 2nd day of pre-school. After a very good tip from my mother (get her hair just a little wet when putting it up) and some new hair bands (they stick to the hair like rubber bands but don't make it knot up) - I attempted piggy tails this morning. They were so darn cute!!! AND she actually kept them in ALL day long...even through her afternoon nap! Anyway - she was so cute this morning that I had to take some more pictures and post them.

I'm not sure what was cuter...either a) that whenever we tell her to smile (whether there is a camera in front of her or not) she says "cheese" or b) that when she saw me get the picture out she went running to the kitchen to stand in front of the wall where I've had her pose before. She is just way too smart!!!

Exploding Grills...

I feel like we had a "commercial" worthy moment last night...

We made steaks last night on the grill. Jeff likes his steak pretty much bloody...so he pulled both of ours off of the grill early. However...I am just a little more picky than he (ok...a LOT pickier than he is...), and kindly asked if my steak could be put back on a few minutes longer so that it would stop mooing at me. Dutifly, he puts the steak back on the grill. Three minutes later he gets back up and turns the steak over then comes back to eat. A minute later, Jeff's head cocks to one side as he looks out the window onto our back porch where the grill sits. Suddenly he jumps out of his chair and runs out the back door. I then see what his excitement was about. Thick black smoke was rolling out of the closed grill. Jeff opens the grill and removes my steak, flame still attached to it. He comes running back into the house "I need the fire extinguisher" he says. Next thing I know, our grill is covered in white foam.

We still don't know exactly what happened, but after Jeff had turned off the gas, something continued to burn - so the fire extinguisher was necessary. Guess we'll be looking for a new grill... (hmm...I wonder if this was all a plan so that Jeff could get a new grill... haha)

The first day!!!

Kendall started her first day of pre-school today at a local church. She didn't fully understand what she was doing, of course. But Mommy was sure excited for her!!! I took some pictures of her with her Dora lunchbox (of which I know there was at least one exact copy in her classroom this morning...) all dressed and ready to go. Please - someone tell me the trick to get her hair in a ponytail or up on the sides... You would think that after all the practice I had with my hair for years that I would be simple for me to do hers. Unfortunately...no. This is another part of that "girlie" gene that I've learned I do not possess (For those that don't know...the "girlie" gene is what allows most women to be able to decorate their homes effortlessly, wrap beautiful packages, enjoy scrapbooking or other such venture, and, apparently, do your little girls hair.) Anyway - we get to school, and after checking her in, I bring her to her classroom and out to the "dropoff" area - the playground behind the classroom. As I'm talking to her teacher - she runs to one of the toys she spots and starts playing. No "bye bye Mommy" or "I love you Mommy"...just runs and plays. As much as I love the fact that she is independent and doesn't get the seperation anxiety so many other children were experiencing today, I still sometimes wish she would show a little bit of an indication that she might miss me... So Carson and I left and came home...

















The house has an eerie quiet right now. No squeeling and laughing in the background. No beeping and whailing of a toy car. No children's television program playing. All I hear right now is the cooing of my son and the ocean sounds and nursery music coming out of the bouncer he is in. My little girl is in school. Wow. Sure it isn't kindergarten or anything like that, it is, afterall only 2 days a week. And sure, she is only gone for 3 1/2 hours. But it is amazing how quiet the house is. I've become accustomed to hearing her noises throughtout the house. Between her giggles and squeals as she runs after Chance, trying to grab his tail or give him a hug, to the sound of her toys banging into walls or falling on the floor. I forget how quiet those first few months of a baby's life are. Of course I'm used to the quiet when Kendall is taking her afternoon nap. But having this quiet in the house in the morning is just...well...weird... Thankfully - I won't be able to experience the quiet that often. My plans (well...we all know how plans can go...) are that after I drop Kendall off in the mornings, I'll go to the gym for an hour, then do my grocery shopping or whatever little errands I need to do. Most likely - I'll only have half and hour or so to myself in the house before I will have to leave to pick her up by 12:45. Sure there will be days, like next Friday, when I'll have an appointment I have to keep and there won't be time for the gym afterwards...so I will have a little longer in the quiet. And, of course, as Carson gets older he will be more active and make more noise.
Speaking of Carson...he had his 2 month old check up on Tuesday. Drum roll please....25 1/2 inches long and 15 pounds 5 ounces!!! He is the size of an average 5 month old!!! What a sweetie!!!




















These pictures were taken yesterday and I thought were just too cute NOT to put up on the blog. :)

Two nights in a row!!!

Good morning all!!! And I do mean good morning! I'm in a great mood this morning, and may not really even need my coffee (nah...I'll still need it...) all because of one good night sleep of almost 6 1/2 uninterrupted zzz's!!!

Through what I've determined is divine intervention, I decided to put Carson in his crib to sleep two nights ago. He was doing well in his bassinet in our bedroom, but I got the feeling that since I could hear every little grunt he made in the middle of the night - it was probably me waking him up to feed when he was between sleep cycles and making a bit of noise rather than him actually wanting to wake up and feed. So - Sunday night we put him in his bassinet. After his last feeding at 10pm, he was in bed by about 10:20 or so. Had Kendall not waken us up 3 times, I would have then slept until 5am when he finally woke up to feed!!! Well...actually that first night I did wake up at 4:45 with a start realizing that I hadn't heard him all night...so I ran to his room and laid my hand upon his chest to make sure he was breathing. (He's lucky I didn't turn on all the lights and pick him up and shake him to get him to cry to make sure he was alive...again...divine intervention! :) ) However - last night...he was asleep by 10:35pm (I was asleep by 10:38pm...haha) and it was 5:19am that he finally woke up to eat. YEAH!!! Plus...Kendall slept soundly last night (the first time in like a week) which meant that I actually slept just about 6 1/2 hours!!! So...now I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed and feeling really good. It has been MONTHS since I've slept that long without interruption (even when I was pregnant I was getting up at least 2 times a night to pee).

So - when my coffee is ready here in about 15 minutes or so - I'll make a toast to all the mom's out there that are still struggling to get some sleep with their newborns. Here's to hoping that we all get a good night sleep tonight!

Doing Disney in 100 degree heat...

So we had the brilliant idea to bring our 21 month old and 7 week old to Orlando to go to Animal Kingdom. Well...let me back up... Really the discussion started because for Jeff's 40th birthday I got him a 30 minute ride-along in a 1941 Stearman PT-17 open cockpit plane (go see Peggy and Tim at Preston Aviation, Inc. in Leesburg - they were GREAT!!! Their website is http://www.flytailwheel.com/). Jeff has always wanted to get his pilots license...and although I'm not ready for that big of a leap - I figured that this would be something fun for him to do and give him a taste of what he has dreamed of. So - we finally found a free weekend (which is tough for us it seems...) and got it scheduled for Friday morning. Here are some pictures of Jeff's adventure. :)

Oops...I guess that last one isn't of Jeff is it? haha

So since Leesburg is basically just over half way to Orlando, we decided to meet one of Jeff's best friends, Scott (who lives in Tampa - and is single, cute and successful ladies!!!) there and go to a park on Saturday. We opted to go to Animal Kingdom, guessing that since Kendall really couldn't ride any rides being so little, it would at least be fun for her since she could see some animals.

When we got there about 10am - and I swear it was already 90 degrees. The first thing we did, is stand in line for 10 minutes so that Kendall could meet Minnie Mouse. Let me tell you - it is probably the best thing we did the whole day! I could hardly hold Kendall back once we got close enough for her to see Minnie Mouse hugging other people. Once we got to the front of the line and she was able to go up and see her - she literally RAN to Minnie and gave her a hug!

We were so surprised that she wasn't scared of her...it was great. As we were walking away - Kendall turned around three times and said "Dye dye. I you." (which means "Bye bye. I love you." in 21-month old).

Next - we walked into the "Africa" section of Animal Kingdom, and came upon some musicians. They invited several people, including myself and Kendall, to come up in front of everyone and dance. And boy did we!!! It was so much fun - and Kendall wasn't nervous or scared at all. In fact - at one point I had to bring her back over to me because she was dancing away from me... Here are some pictures. :)

Overall - we were pleasantly surprised at how well Kendall did in the heat. She actually lasted until about 3pm when she fell asleep in the stroller. We were already on the way back to the car - so we were thrilled that she lasted that long. Carson even did good. Normally if he is warm, he sleeps the whole time. He actually didn't sleep the whole time and was even a very happy boy a little later that day. And FINALLY - I was able to get some pictures of Carson smiling!!!

Although we aren't ready to get season passes - we will probably head down again next year. And most likely the year after that (2009) we will get passes.

Until then - Gator football season officially starts tomorrow - so I'm sure I'll have a story or two to come about that. And as if taking care of two in diapers didn't keep me busy enough - Jeff convinced me to take a Creative Writers Workshop at the Sante Fe Community College. So - now I have no excuse for not sitting down when I get a chance and hammering out a few pages of a book I've been thinking about. So far...I've got 18 pages written...LONG way away from finishing it...but at least I've gotten it started. I'll let you all know if it actually goes somewhere...doubtful anytime soon...so I wouldn't hold my breaths if I was you...

Well - it is now 10:30 at night and time for my little one's last feeding before my bedtime... Have a great Labor Day weekend and GO GATORS!!!

Things I've learned being a mother of 2 (Part 1)

As I stood in my kitchen stirring hot water into my instant oatmeal this morning (that is item #1 on my list - you can't eat anything that takes more than 2 minutes to make), I started thinking about all the things that I've learned in the short 7 weeks that I've been a mother of two. And of course, I felt that my blog was the best place to share this information...:)

1) Everything you eat must either be made in less than 2 minutes, be identical to what your child is eating (yum yum grilled cheese sandwiches and hot dogs), or you go hungry. Why? you ask... My husband doesn't seem to understand this either...but every mom I've ever talked to "gets" it. So - for you men out there - here you go. On the rare day that your toddler does decide to eat their food, if you are up slicing vegetables to put on a salad for lunch, or frying an egg for breakfast, then they will be done eating before you can even sit down to begin eating your creation. Which means that shortly after they are done eating (VERY shortly) they want to get down from their chair and run around. "So why is that a problem?" a) because you can't trust a toddler alone for more than 5 seconds and b) they normally either want up in your lap as you are trying to eat your food and share what you are eating even though they are probably full or c) they want you to go with them to play or read or give them attention.

2) Coffee has become my best friend. There was a time in college I tried to drink coffee on a regular basis in the morning. It lasted for a while, but pretty much evaporated into an every-once in a while habit. I still loved to have coffee with a good ooey gooey chocolate creation after dinner, or on a cold morning when I was still living up north. However, if I don't have my two cups of coffee (which by the size of my cups, is really like 3 or 4 cups) every morning, I don't have the energy to chase after my 21 month old. I'll find myself falling asleep as we are reading Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You? for the hundredth time. The fun part...coffee is a diuretic...which means I've now become pretty regular... :)

3) When one child cries, they both cry. I don't know why this is. But it never seems to fail that the moment my 21 month old is crying, whether it be from falling down or having a poopy diaper, my 7 week old chooses that exact moment to start squalling as well. Then...I am left with this mother's guilt... As much as I want to be there for my daughter and make sure she knows that if she is hurt or upset she can come to me and I'll be there...I am not fully there for her - as my mind is aching for my son wanting to pick him up and comfort him...so that he knows that if he is hurt or upset he can come to me and I'll be there... Which...in turn...makes me less patient with my daughter than I normally would be.

4) The television has become my 2nd best friend. As a brand new mom with Kendall, I tried to tell myself (and anyone that would listen at the time) that I wasn't going to let her watch tv until she was 2 years old. Then I got pregnant with Carson. And the fatigue set in. Now...the television has become an almost constant in our home. I do try to limit it - only an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. But...I know that even that is a lot. But, now that I have Carson, Kendall needs to be distracted by something as I'm feeding him, otherwise she is trying to crawl up in my lap along with him the whole time. Mother's guilt is hitting me very hard even now as I type this...because I know as I think about it that she probably watches much more than 2 hours a day. We have days that she doesn't watch any...and then other days where I can't seem to turn it off. Noggin and Disney channels are our favorite... And she has learned from watching tv - she learned from Dora the Explorer that a train says Choo Choo. She learned from Backyardigans that a pirate says Argh and a caveman says Ugg. I tell myself that when it isn't so hot outside - we'll spend more time playing outside...but right now going out into 98 degree weather for 2 hours is not very realistic - especially with a 7 week old...

5) The love I feel for my children is constantly growing. Ok, ok...ending today's list with a sappy thing probably isn't very fair. However, it amazes me each day how much I love each of my kids. Sometimes, the love I feel comes over me so hard I feel like crying. Just watching my daughter run around and be silly makes me laugh and makes my heart swell. Looking at my son and imagining what he will be like at Kendall's age makes me so happy that I get to be the person that watches him grow on a daily basis. I say a prayer every night as I go to sleep - I thank God for trusting me with such beautiful souls as my children. Why He decided that I was the best mommy for them, I can't imagine - because I know I've never done anything remotely good enough to deserve the Grace He has shown me in my two beautiful children. I only hope I can make Him proud in how I raise them...

Ok...that is it for now. As this blog goes along, I'm sure I will have even more things I've learned (hence the Part 1 part). In the meantime - here is a picture of my two precious ones.

Little affirmations...

As a mom of two very little ones - getting affirmation from them that you are doing a good job is next to impossible. Well - tonight - I got two...

Part of Kendall's bedtime routine is saying prayers just before we lay her down. Normally Jeff or I say the prayers (typical "please bless Mommy and Daddy and Carson..."). Tonight we asked her who she wanted to say the prayers - me, Daddy or herself. She indicated that she wanted to say prayers tonight by placing both hands on her chest and saying "endall." What a blessing! Although what she says is very basic (just names at this point) - she is getting the idea. We are setting a positive example for her early on. That she isn't nervous or scared of saying prayers herself, that she knows that we say the names of the ones we love in our prayers, and that we say "Amen" when we are done - this tells me that as Christian parents trying to raise our children in a Christian home...something is starting to "stick" in what we are teaching her.

The other little affirmation I got happened at the dinner table tonight. We are constantly asking Kendall what different animals say. Tonight, Jeff asked her what Carson says. She said "waaa" with her mouth wide open and her face puckered like she was crying. Jeff and I both started to laugh it was so cute! Then Jeff asked her "What does Daddy say?" She said "I you" - which in 20-month-old means "I love you". He asked her "What does Mommy say?" Again - "I you" was her response. How wonderful that we express our love, not only to one another but to her as well, that she thinks that what "we say" is "I love you", much as a cat says "meow" or a cow says "moo."

I think we are doing something right...

Letters and Blocks and Books oh my!

I really hate to brag (well...actually no I don't...), but my daughter has to be the smartest 20 month old on this planet!!! Not long ago we got her the Fridge Phonics Magnetic Letter Set by Leap Frog. The box says it is intended for ages 2 and up...but we figured she was close enough - so we got it anyway. Lets just say that we are THRILLED that we got it for her. This morning before he left for work, my husband stood by the fridge and pointed at the letters, asking Kendall to tell him what each letter was. With the exception of about 6, she knew ALL of them. Now - I can't guarantee that she will be able to do it again if asked...but the fact that she did it once just amazed me! We are already sending out applications to Harvard and Yale...haha

Anyway - between reading book after book after book to her each day, playing with her letters, helping her identify colors (she has black and white down pat...occasionally it seems she knows blue and green, but not consistently), and playing with her shaped blocks and putting them in their appropriate shaped holes - Kendall has been such a sponge lately! It is amazing to me watching her learn...you can actually see the wheels turning in her head when she looks at something or asks me a question. It is fantastic!!! Last night as we were getting her ready for bed, Jeff showed her the difference between up and down by pointing at the ceiling and floor. Now - she has already been saying the words for a long time...but last night was the first time we got her to actually point to indicate she knew what "up" was and what "down" was. I saw an article that said that a child her age is learning 10 words a day. She may not be able to use the word yet...but she is absorbing it (lets just say we are being SOOO careful now with any expletives that might slip out now and then...) to be able to repeat back later. It is fantastic to watch and know that is some way I contributing to her learning. I told Jeff this morning that I am actually a little scared of it all as well - because although I consider myself to be intelligent - I don't think that I am as intelligent as Kendall is...and there will be a point in time that she will be smarter than me and I won't be able to challenge her intellectually anymore. That terrifies me...

My "little" guy, Carson, is doing great! Eat, sleep, poop, repeat. That is our day. However - he is a little more alert each day. He is also smiling at Jeff and I when we talk to him. I just love that little smile!!! Someday I hope to actually catch it on film...but I haven't been able to yet. It is so hard to believe that it was 5 weeks ago that he was born. In some ways it seems like eons ago...and in others - it was just yesterday! But seeing where his big sister is now...I just know that I'm going to blink and they are both going to be in high school...

Oh - I almost forgot - Kendall will most likely be moving to a toddler bed here in the very near future...as she climbed out of her crib for the first time on Monday. She hasn't done it again yet...but I'm just waiting... That brings its own set of worries to this already worry-wart mother! haha

I've attached a few pictures that were taken this weekend. One is of Kendall in a little "Chinese" outfit my sister, Dee, picked up for her in Los Angeles when she was on vacation. Goodness she is adorable!!! The others are of my mom with both of her Grand kids and Dee with her niece. I just LOVE my family!!!! I don't think there is a luckier person out there than me!