Mother Mary

I heard a Christmas song the other day on the radio that I must have heard hundreds of times over the years...but it really made me start thinking. Here is the lyrics to the song:

"Mary, Did You Know?" written by Mark Lowry & Buddy Greene

Mary, did you know

That your baby boy will one day walk on water?

Did you know

That your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?

Did you know

That your baby boy has come to make you new?

This child that you've delivered

Will soon deliver you

Mary, did you know

that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?

Did you know

That your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?

Did you know

That your baby boy has walked where angels trod?

And when you kiss your little baby

You've kissed the face of God

Mary, did you know?

The blind will see

The deaf will hear

And the dead will live again

The lame will leap

The dumb will speak

The praises of the lamb

Mary, did you know

That your baby boy is lord of all creation?

Did you know

That your baby boy will one day rule the nations?

Did you know

That your baby boy is heaven's perfect lamb

This sleeping child you're holding

Is the great I AM.

I feel as if I have heard the song for the first time ever. Any time I've ever thought about the Christmas story, and Mary in particular, I've always thought about her from the eyes of the young girl that is suddenly pregnant. I've wondered how I would have handled the situation. I've wondered if I would have been ashamed of my condition, even though I was told and believed that it was caused by God himself. I've wondered if my Joseph would have been as faithful to me even as I pleaded innocence. I've wondered how my parents would have reacted. Being as I didn't have my first child until I was 31 - the thought of being pregnant and having one at half that age gives me shivers. Not to mention the lack of drugs...epidural in particular. If it wasn't for my epidural in both deliveries, I don't think I could have done it. And there Mary was...in a dirty, stinky stable, surrounded by dirty, stinky animals...giving birth to a child with no epidural...no clean water...no proper blankets or towels to wash the precious child in once He was born. I can only imagine how scared she must have been...how confused...how utterly alone she must have felt at that moment with her husband at her side.

After hearing the song the other day, my perspective on the birth of Jesus was changed slightly. The whole time Mary was pregnant - she knew that her Savior, her Lord, her Deliverer was in her belly. Remember the guilt you had when you pushed your body farther than it should have been pushed or when you had that sip of wine or eaten that mercury laden fish when you were pregnant with your children...the fear that your child would come out of you with not enough fingers...or blind... Just the fear as a mother I had that my children would be completely "normal" and healthy and happy was enough to keep me from sleep at night sometimes. But - here was Mary - pregnant with THE most important child in the world - with no proper medical care (at least how today's society views it)...can you even begin to imagine the fear that could have overwhelmed her. However - she was pregnant with God...and I can only hope that the fear was lessened knowing that her pregnancy had the ultimate Purpose.

Now...those days where I feel like all I do is scream at my kids...those days where just walking out the door with all of us dressed is challenging...those days that I feel like I've lost any semblance of who I used to be is gone...would I feel the same if I knew that the child was my Lord and Savior? Would I be just as impatient with Him? Would I be just as short tempered? I wish the Bible let us in on how Jesus was as a toddler...I know that He was perfect in every way and never sinned...but did He ever test Mary's patience? Did Mary struggle with potty training Him??? Did she have to tell Him no a million times? Did she have to keep pulling him down from the cabinets that he was climbing? As much as I'd love to believe that the answer is no...it has to have been yes. So...how do you discipline the World's Redeemer?

I know that I have no idea right now what my children will be when they grow up. Kendall talks about being a pediatrician, or a veterinarian, or an astronaut, or a scuba diver...or a ballerina or a princess or a mermaid. Carson doesn't say much yet about what he wants to be (he doesn't say much yet, period). Jeff and I have told Kendall and Carson that we just want them to be happy. We just want them to find whatever it is that gives them passion and makes them happy and proud of what they do. Would we feel different if we knew without a doubt say, that Kendall was going to grow up to be something that we disagree with - but that made her happy? Would we try her entire life to discourage her from that line of work? What if we knew without a doubt that she was going to become the doctor that discovers the cure for cancer, but that she wouldn't really love her job or have any passion for it? What is more important at that point? Her happiness and passion or the cure of millions of people that are ill? I think that in some ways - we are lucky for not knowing what the kids will grow up to be. Although Mary didn't know Jesus' fate (being crucified at 35 years old), she knew that he was the Lord of all the earth. She knew that, if nothing else, He would make a huge impact on the world. If she had known that He would be crucified...would she have tried to discourage Him from being the teacher He was? Or knowing that His love would save the world, including her own, would she have still sent Him to His death?

Then - there is the question of how much she must have loved Him. I know that I love my children dearly...madly. Can you even begin to imagine how much Mary must have loved her Son? Yes - she loved Him as His mother - with the same passion and vigor that I love my own children. But her love went so much deeper...she loved Him as you and I love God - as one of His children. So even if it is possible to love your child more...which I can't begin to imagine...she did. She loved Jesus not only as His mother but as His daughter! Whoa!!!! My head starts to spin just thinking about it...

As I've been thinking about the song and the Christmas story over the last several days - here is the conclusion I've come up with. Our children are precious gifts from God, and no matter what their future holds in store for them, or what they are going to grow up to be - I need to love them...completely...without any reservation...and remembering every single day of their life that how I treat them and how I talk to them and how I show them love will impact who they will eventually be as adults.

No matter what Mary did or did not actually know about Jesus when He was born - she knew that she loved Him. She showed Him love, she spoke to Him in love, she held Him in love, she completely showered Him with love. And now...He does the same for us. He shows us love, He speaks to us in love, He holds us in love, He completely showers us in love.

Merry Christmas!

Voice Activated Blogging?

Kendall blowing out the candles on her birthday cake.


Kendall and her two besties - Elizabeth and Kyle - at her birthday party.


Jeff and Kendall on Thanksgiving.

Firefighter Carson at your service.

Princess Kendall being a bit shy.

Jeff and I at the UF/FSU game (Tebow's last game in the Swamp)

Carson and I on a recent trip to Disney.

Jeff and Carson at Disney.

So as I sit to write this post, I realize that it has been almost 4 months since my last post. There are several reasons for this:

1) The longer the time passes from my last post, the less I want to get on here and actually update the post.

2) Now that I am on Facebook (come on now...who isn't on there???), I feel like I'm able to keep up with all of my friends and family and they are, in turn, able to keep up with me.

3) Things have been really really busy lately here...and when they aren't busy - all I want to do is veg either in front of the tv or the computer and not really think. And although this blog is not a literary masterpiece, it is something I have to think about...

So - anyway - here we are...just a few days before Christmas and I thought that I would start afresh...anew...a...umm...what else starts with "a"???

There are so many times in a given day that I wish I had some sort of device that I could narrate into, have it read back to me, and automatically post it to the blog. As I'm driving the kids to school and they do or say something funny/frustrating/mind blowing, etc...I'd love to write something about it at that very moment...but...as I'm driving...and then distracted ten times over after that...I never write anything about it.

For example - in November my parents were nice enough to watch the kids for Jeff and I so that we could go to the Florida/South Carolina game. My mom told me the funniest story. As my mom was talking to Kendall, she said very sing-songy "Kendall Cathleen, please come here." Not upset...not angry...just saying her whole name. Kendall stops and looks at Grandma and says "Why did you call me that?" "Because that is your name," Grandma replies. "Mommy only calls me that when she is angry with me. Are you angry with me?" haha

So - Kendall is now 4 years old...effectively for about 2 1/2 weeks now. However....she STILL i having issue pooping on the potty. ARGH!!! In fact - we are now seeing a play therapist one day a week in the hopes that we can "work out" whatever the issue is. So far...nothing. So...we are back to charting. Can I just say how much I HATE charting?!?! I understand that we are hoping that the charting will help hold her accountable. But it is time consuming...and as many times as we have done charts in the past...I am SICK of them. SICK I tell you!!! Especially since they never worked before... Anyway - we are also doing a chore chart for her as well - and have set up a weekly allowance as well. IF she does everything on the chart everyday - she gets $4.00 a week. $1 to church, $1 for spending on whatever she wants (with Mom and Dad's veto power of course), $2 for savings. My financial advisor of a husband loves that part..."25% savings. That is good!"

Carson is...well...ALL BOY!!! And...he still isn't talking very good. We were worried enough, in fact, that on this last Friday we had the people from Early Steps (a program with the State of Florida) come out and evaluate Carson and his speech development. After about an hour and a half of "testing" (i.e. playing with toys and asking him to do/say things as they watched), they determined that he is in the "normal" range of development. He is on the low end of the normal range...but normal nonetheless. So...lately we have been doing a lot of "use your words" to try to get him to speak so that we understand him. Other than that - he is happy and into everything.

Hmm...what else...if I think of something soon - I'll use my VAB (Voice Activated Blogging) Device.

Merry Christmas!!!

Tonight I find myself crying over a family I never really knew. 17 years ago I graduated from high school with Sean K. and Amy T. I couldn't even tell you if they were high school sweethearts or started dating after high school...but regardless - they were married and have a daughter. I don't even know if I've seen either of them since graduation...but I sit here tonight in front of my computer with tears in my eyes. A few days ago, 35 year old Sean died of an apparent heart attack. Sean had an identical twin brother, Mike, and a sister that I never knew. I don't know what he did for a living, I don't know how he spent his days, I don't know what kind of a man he was or if he knew Christ. What I do know, is that his wife is now living my biggest fear...and that is what makes me cry. The thought of losing my partner, my love, my companion, my best friend in this world scares me to death. Any night that he is later at work than he thought he would be or takes longer getting home than normal, I get a little stab of fear in my heart - because I can't imagine going through this life without him.

What also makes me cry is that it amazes me how little I knew this person and his wife. Sure I remember both of them, I can still hear Sean and his brother laughing, see Amy's smile as she cheered for the Varsity Cheerleaders. But beyond that...I didn't know them at all. And as narcissistic as this sounds...that makes me wonder would they even know or care if something happened to me? I went to high school with them for 4 years and I couldn't even tell you where they went to college...when they got married...anything. I know that part of the reason for that is that we weren't close in high school...and that I've moved a million times since then...but most of the reason is because I never cared enough to try to get to know them. And now, all I can think about is how devastated Amy must be that her husband is gone. I can imagine her cooking dinner for their family, expecting Sean home at any time...and then getting a phone call or a knock on the door that changed her life forever. My heart breaks for her. For having to go through the rest of her life with a whole in her heart and no one to share the ups and downs of their daughters life with. My heart breaks for her daughter never getting to know her dad. Not having her dad be able to walk her down the aisle the day she gets married.

Rest in Peace Sean Kielty.

You got a friend in me!

Saturday was Kendall's first ballet recital. She was so darn cute!!! Here she is "dancing" with all the other little ones in her class, and a few pictures of her that we took before and after the recital.

Kendall in front of the big fountain at the Performing Arts Center where the recital was held.

Sitting on the floor while Mommy gets her ballet slippers on...and of course...talking up a storm...

Mommy & Kendall after the show.

Daddy & Kendall after the show.

Kendall with her two big bundles of flowers.

With her new jewelry box that Memo got for her, complete with spinning ballerina. She has been carrying this around with her every day since...

My beautiful little girl...We are so blessed!!!

I'm not even going to try to catch up...

I'm not going to even begin to try to say all that has happened over the last 2 months (seeing as I'm that far behind once again...). I am just going to post some pictures that have been taken with a little explanation...and I will try to keep up with my blog better from here on out...

In April, Jeff and I and our good friends, Todd & Kelly went to see Wicked in Jacksonville.

Kelly & I by one of the stands inside the performing arts center.


My FAVORITE picture of Jeff and I to date...


Kelly and I once again - note the man over my right shoulder with the hat...


Todd & Kelly


Kendall LOVES playing dress up...and one day I got some pictures while she was in her Tinker Bell dress.

Striking a pose...

Aww...hugs...notice how Carson is trying to push Kendall away...haha

Rally was taking a breather from the kids chasing him around the porch.

When we went on our trip last summer, we picked up a "See Rock City" birdhouse...and were pleased when a family of birds moved in this year...and lo and behold...babies!!!

The family getting to meet Lightening McQueen and Mater at Disney Hollywood Studios in April.

I took the kids to a local You-pick strawberry farm...and we had a blast!!! It was horribly hot...but the kids really got a kick out of picking their own strawberries! And...they were so yummy too!!!

Carson and his red bucket.

Kendall showing me a prize strawberry.

One of the best pictures I've gotten of Carson in a while - what a great smile!!!

Well - besides going crazy with doing my cakes...things have been relatively quiet around here...Carson is still into EVERYTHING...Kendall still is NOT potty trained (she knows how...just chooses not to)...Jeff is still working crazy hard in this horrible market...and I am still hanging onto my sanity by a mere thread...

February & March in a nutshell

So I was talking to my friend, Kelly, the other day and I was saying how I feel so overwhelmed by the very idea of writing this blog since I am pretty much two months behind at this point. And...she suggested doing a bullet point list of everything that has happened over the last two months...BRILLIANT idea!!! So...here we go:

February

• Pretty much the first two weeks I was obsessed with getting my cake finished for the Lets Eat Cake wedding cake competition on the 17th. Although I didn't win anything, I feel very good about the cake I did, especially since I have never attempted to do anything close to a wedding cake. Plus - my friend, Maria R., won a prize for best tasting cake in the amateur division! Woo Hoo!!! :) Here are a few pics from the event. I would put more pictures of my competitors...but then you would see how absolutely amateur my cake actually did look...some of the cakes were absolutely amazing!!!

Here is me with my cake, and then a close up so you can see some of the detail work I did.

Maria R. with her gorgeous cake!!!

• On Saturday morning, the 21st, about 6am, we got a call from my mom saying that my sister, Denise, was in the ICU at the Orange Park Medical Center with meningitis. Wow... For those of you that don't know - I had meningitis when I was 3 years old...so just the fact that someone else I know and love is getting it too is amazing to me...let alone my very own sister!!! Thankfully, Dee's fiance, Chris, was in town visiting and encouraged her to go to the hospital and sure enough...she had meningitis... Anyway - it appeared she was recovering rather quickly, so I didn't cancel...

• My Lasik surgery on Wednesday the 25th. Yes folks - I can now see better than 20/20 without the use of glasses or contacts!!!! Prior to the surgery I typically wore my contacts ALL the time...so I don't think it has completely sunk in yet that I really don't have contacts in right now...but I know eventually it will...like the first time I go swimming and I can open my eyes under water, not worry about my contacts coming out, and actually see more than a foot in front of my face! :) Anyway - that same night my sister...

• Was transferred to Shands Hospital at the University of Florida for what we initially thought was to be prepared for surgery to repair the defect that allowed the bacteria to get into her brain causing the meningitis. Little did we know that she would be in the hospital...not getting any better...in fact getting much worse at times for several more weeks. She had gotten a secondary infection through her PIC line which caused her temperature to spike several days in a row until the doctors finally decided that (DUH!!!) there might be something going on... Anyway - the rest of my month of February was pretty much consumed with getting to the hospital anytime I could when there was someone to watch the kids. Dee's fiance, Chris, stayed with us for a while, as did Dad, and Mom on one night. We also got to have Dee's dog, Daisy, here too. Now don't get me wrong, Daisy is a sweet little girl! The boys, specifically Rally, LOVED having her here to play with and the three dogs would tear it up on several occasions. BUT...there is something about a third dog in the house along with two very busy kids that adds just that little extra bit of umph to an already stressful situation! haha Here are a few pictures from February before we move on to March:

Carson would NOT sit still for me this day...so this is the best picture of him I had...

Doesn't Kendall just look so darn cute in overalls and pigtails???

I wish you could see how little Daisy is next to Rally and Chance. For a little perspective...Daisy is around 20 pounds....Rally is around 100...

Chance enjoying a moment of peace, chewing on a stick...

Rally - next to the fort just waiting for someone to play with him!

March

Besides trips to the hospital and back...March was pretty quiet until...

• Denise was released from the hospital on the 11th, to go back home on IV antibiotics (thanks to a home health care nurse) until her surgery (which is still undecided even today) was scheduled. So...Jeff and I decided to go with our original vacation plans of leaving for Hilton Head Island on Saturday the 14th...until...

• Friday the 13th (so fitting...), Kendall woke up at around 10:30 vomiting...and continued to vomit and dry heave until past 11:30pm. So... we decided to delay our trip and not leave until Sunday the 15th...assuming she was feeling better. Sunday afternoon came, she ate a good lunch, had a good nap and her temp was only around 99.4...so after talking to the other families that we were sharing a house in HHI with, we decided to head on up and left Gainesville around 2:15pm. About an hour before we got there, we noticed that Kendall's cheeks were very flushed and that she had a rash ALL over her body... we decided that it was just part of the flu virus that she had, and would go away eventually. So...we tried to keep her somewhat calm on the 16th...and then...

• We noticed that Carson had a temp on the evening of the 16th...so we gave them both Motrin and sent them to bed...then when Kendall woke up on the 17th...her fever was back up to 103.1 and she said it hurt when I took her temperature (we have an ear thermometer)...so...we took her and Carson to the ER at the HHI local hospital (only because nothing was open that early in the morning). Come to find out...BOTH kids tested positive for strep, Carson had an ear infection in both ears, and Kendall...well...we assumed she had an ear infection in her right ear, but because of the waxy buildup - really didn't know. They go in tomorrow morning for a follow up with our pediatrician to make sure everything is looking better... Anyway - after right about 24 hours on antibiotics - both kids started to feel better. Also - thankfully we have some very thoughtful and kind friends, because they encouraged us to stay up in HH and not go home (everyone had already been exposed anyway...). So...

• We stayed the rest of the week and got back yesterday afternoon. It was great!!! One day we went to the beach and another we went to some stables and Kendall had her first pony ride, then we got on a boat for a "dolphin" cruise with the kids. All in all - we had a GREAT time!!! Here are a few pictures from March:

The kids have discovered eating an apple without it being cut up. One day I discovered them both outside each with an apple (that I didn't give them...they got it out of the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter via the use of a stool from their bathroom...). It was so cute I just had to get my camera!!!

What dog wouldn't love this??? Lucky dog!!!

The sunglasses family!!! haha

Kendall LOVED the beach!!!

Carson seemed to be enjoying himself too...until a small wave knocked him down...then...

This is pretty much all we saw anytime we tried to bring him close to the water (in his defense - the water WAS freezing!!!)

My little man and girl in sunglasses - I was impressed at how long they actually kept them on!

Taking a break and having lunch.

Happy Daddy

Happy Mommy with her little guy.

Did I mention that Kendall LOVED the beach??

And that Carson...well...

...did not...

She was ALWAYS in the water!!! Running back and forth and screaming and squealing - it was fantastic to watch her!!!

My family looking at a pony behind a fence.

Daddy and Carson waiting for Kendall to finish her pony ride.

Here she is riding Me Me!

She absolutely LOVED riding the pony!!!

Kendall striking a pose on the boat - what a little star!!!

On the dolphin cruise boat with my happy little guy.

Not a clear picture - but this shows you how close the dolphins were to the boat. Kendall was screaming she was so excited to see them!!!

Daddy and his little man.

Kendall was having so much fun!!!

Kendall was making funny faces at Carson and making him laugh...so much fun!!!

Well - I think that is it... I'll try not to let two months go by again!!! haha