An update in pictures only...

As said in the title above...see below. :)

Beginning of a new chapter

One of the things I've struggled with for the last 5 years of being a stay at home mom, was the fact that for the first time in my adult life, I wasn't working or going to school or looking for a job. I have a job. The most important job in the world...being a mom to the two most precious children in the world (not that I'm biased...).


However, I've never gotten over that feeling that I needed to be doing something else to financially help the family. Yes yes I know...taking care of the kids and the house is a financial benefit to the family...but I mean actual cash in hand kind of financial help. I am very helpful at spending the money that Jeff bring in...I always wanted to be helpful in raising money as well.


Anyway - while I was pregnant with Carson and for about 6 months after he was born, I struggled and felt this (false) urgency that I HAD to know what I was going to do with my life when the kids were in school. hmm... really??? Boy was the evil one working on me!!! So...I prayed and prayed and finally got the peace that I wanted knowing that when God was ready to show me my path, I would know.


Flash forward to when Carson was just over a year old, I took my first class at Michaels for cake decorating. I LOVED it. It lets me tap into the creative side of me that I haven't really touched in a long time. However...it is really more of a money sucker than a money maker. At least it was in the first year. This year I am on a slight profit...but not by much. Especially when you consider I am making well less than minimum wage in regards to my labor. I really do enjoy doing the decorating...but the baking...it is pretty much a means to an end at this point. My friend Maria told me a while ago that she wouldn't want to own her own bakery/cake decorating business - because it would then become a J.O.B. and not a passion or a hobby. I pooh-poohed her and thought I would never get there. Well...I'm there. When I have a cake that I think turns out just like my imagination hoped it would...then it is a passion. When I have a cake that I'm just ho-hum about or not happy with at all...then it is a J.O.B. My imagination of getting my cake decorating into my own store-front business is pretty much dissipating...but I am still doing one cake a week and plan on continuing that as long as people call me to do cakes.

Anyway - that being said one thing that you may not know about me is that I have a LOT of experience in the real estate industry. When I was married to my ex, he was a mortgage broker at one point and I not only went on appointments with him, but also helped him process his files. I worked at a title company doing loan closings when I was with my ex. When I left him, I got a job at a bank doing post closing and just a very wee bit in customer service. Then I got a promotion and worked as a Mortgage Loan Closing Specialist...which means I prepared the closing documents, reviewed the HUD-1 Settlement Statement and issued funding numbers. When I moved to Gainesville to be with Jeff, I worked at a title company doing basic title searches, clearing title issues and assisting with closings when necessary. In brief - I have a LOT of experience with everything around real estate transactions except actually being the real estate agent. Well...that will all be changing soon.

I hope to have my licence and be a fully functioning (although part time hours) real estate agent no later than mid-August! My plan is to only work 10-15 hours per week while the kids are in school and my goal is to have a minimum of 3 to 4 closings per year. No...that isn't a lot...but at this point any income I can make is just gravy! My friend and owner of the real estate firm I'll be working at, Julie Cole at Cole Development and Realty, LLC, thinks that I should be able to do a LOT more than that.

I'm really excited about the opportunity that lies ahead for me! I'm confident that with my background, my passion for homes and real estate, that I will be a good agent. Plus, if I am diligent with keeping my priorities straight (family first, etc.) my kids will benefit too.

So - stay tuned to what will be sure to be a fun ride!!! :)

Long time no see

Okay okay...so I've been horrible at updating my blog. But now with facebook...who needs a blog? haha Just kidding!!!

Its definitely been a busy few months for our family, and me personally. Between Junior League commitments, my steady cake business, car-pooling the kids around, trying to keep food in the fridge and dinner on the table...I'm exhausted and ready for a vacation! Oh right...we had one... The second week of May our little family went on an Eastern Caribbean cruise (with stops in Nassau, St. Thomas US VI, and St. Marten.) As much as I'd love to post pictures of that adventure on here...for some reason blogger won't let me add any more pictures than the ones below. So...if you are my "friend" on facebook - all the pictures are there. The cruise was incredible though, the kids were very well behaved, and we all had a blast! In fact, for almost the first 30 minutes after getting off the ship, Kendall cried because she didn't want to leave. Neither did I!!! (who would...all you can eat ice cream and pizza's 24/7????)

Beyond that big adventure, we have gone to Disney the end of February/first of March with my folks, then to their house in Jacksonville over Memorial Day weekend. Now that summer is officially here (at least with the kids being out of school), my goal each day is not to lose my mind and try to keep the kids entertained. Tall order....

Here are just a few pictures of our last few months:

Memorial Day weekend we went to the beach. One of the first time's we've done so when it was nice and hot outside...and the kids had a ball!!!! I really hope we get an opportunity to go to the beach every time we are in Jax - the kids were fearless of the ocean! Which is more than I can say for myself...I'm still a mid-westerner at heart and really only like lakes and rivers (those in the mid-west that don't have gators in them at least...)



Carson just LOVES LOVES LOVES his Grandpa! Here - Grandpa was starting to play with some airplanes that Gma and Gpa had gotten him.


On Sunday we went to the Alligator Farm in St. Augustine. So much cooler than I remember!!! Could be that I'm looking at it from the eyes of my 4 & 2 year old now... but still tons of fun!!!

On one of our MANY trips to Cracker Barrel (one of Kendall's favorite restaurants), I caught a few pictures of the kids in a rocking chair. Boy...are they growing up fast....

At the end of February/first of March, Jeff had a meeting in Orlando - so Mom and Dad met us down there and we made a weekend of it. Jeff had to work the whole weekend...but Mom and Dad and the kids and I played at Disney! :)

Kendall acting like she is holding a bouquet of flowers...have I mentioned that she is a drama queen??? I guess this is so in more ways than one...

Grandma and her boy!

One of the things the kids and I like to do on days where there isn't much going on at home, is to go on long walks. Like 2-3 miles minimum...2 hour long walks. Mainly because, though, the kids like to stop and see things along the way... Here are a few pictures from one of our walks:

As said in almost every previous post of the last 6 months...I will try to be more diligent about posting pictures and stories. Can I possibly reach the goal of once a week??? Hmm...I'll try....

We WILL laugh about this someday...right?

When Jeff and I are struggling with something with the kids...we are constantly told that "you will laugh about this someday". However - when you are in the heat of battle...when you keep pulling scrapnel out of your arms and legs and heart...when each minute and each hour and each day ticks by so slow you swear you can compose a symphony in the time it takes to count to 10...it is very hard to remember that.

Overall, we know that we have good kids. Kendall and Carson are so smart and so funny and so generous of heart. Except with each other, they are never mean to others and seem to be leaders in their class, especially Kendall. We are constantly told by their teachers how happy they are to have them in their classes. Kendall is a huge helper. Carson has a big heart.

Our kids are overall very healthy. With the exception of a few random illnesses (flu, upper respiratory issues, tummy bugs, etc.), we have been very lucky. Only Kendall has been hospitalized (with croup in April '08), neither have broken any bones or teeth, and only Carson has ever had any x-rays (after his 1 year visit to check his hips as there as a small "popping" when they moved - everything was fine).

However...when my daughter tells her father that she doesn't want him to put her to bed, that she wants her mommy...complete with crying and screaming and "hateful" tone in her voice...it is hard to remember for Jeff at that very moment that this is only a phase. When we are still changing at least two diapers a day for our 4 1/2 year old daughter when most kids her age have already perfected the art of "wiping"...it is hard to remember that she will not be going to college still in pull-ups. When Carson cries his entire way through dinner because we wouldn't let him have more than 2 full cups of chocolate milk without eating any of his food...it is hard to remember that since birth he has been off the charts as to his height. When Carson says the exact same sounds over and over with such earnest that you know he is trying to tell you something important but you just can't understand him AT ALL...it is hard to remember that someday he will be making large presentations in front of his class in college.

I guess that is why I started this blog to begin with. Although I haven't been good about updating it and I usually try to include the "good stuff" in my posts, it is still a way for us to look back someday and Praise God that we made it through and that we have two beautiful, caring children to show for it.

A few weeks ago we took the kids to a Gator baseball game. Here are just a few pictures I took at the game.

Daddy and his girl!

What a beauty!

The future's so bright, he has to wear (mommy's) shades.

Two peas in a pod!

Apples and Bananas

My kids LOVE apples and bananas. Carson has always loved bananas...since he was a little baby. Kendall has been hot and cold on them her whole (short) life. There are days where they both will gobble up an entire bunch of bananas in one day if I would let them. We've even been known to call Carson banana boy or monkey boy because he loves them so much. But...bananas hold NOTHING to their obsession lately with apples.

When I was a kid I used to love apples myself. Apple juice. Apple sauce. Apple pie. Anything apple - I wanted it. It seems that the kids have followed in my footsteps...I am asked for an apple at LEAST 4 times a day if not more - breakfast, lunch, snack & dinner. We've gotten in the habit of putting the apples in a fruit bowl that sits out on the counter. If the kids are quiet for too long...sure enough one or both of them will have an apple in hand. Another funny thing - is that if Kendall eats the apple whole - she has no problem with the skin. However - if I cut up the apple into slices - then she eats only the meat of the fruit and leaves behind little slivers of the skin. Carson, on the other hand, will eat absolutely every last bit of the apple...including the core if you don't stop him in time.

Now, I'm not complaining...there are many worse foods that the kids could be obsessed with other than apples and bananas. We've never been good about giving the kids candy or cookies or (surprise surprise) cakes. I don't keep a bunch of chips or snacky type foods around (at least where the kids can get them) because that means that Jeff and I will eat them. So the fact that they are happy to snack on apples and milk isn't a real problem. However...when we go through a 3 pound bag of apples in 3 days...and have to go to the store at least 2 or 3 times a week to get a fresh bunch of bananas...well...you can see what I'm saying...

Why is it that we have to decide so early in the year - a full 7 months early - what we are going to do for our kids for school the following school year? I'm barely able to think about next week let alone next school year... But...here we are...trying to make decisions for September that will impact our kids for potentially the rest of their lives...

Although Kendall will turn five in November, the cut off for her to be in kindergarten is Sept. 1 - which means one more year of pre-school. Honestly - I think she is ready academically to start this year...but obviously seeing the problems we are having with the potty training...she isn't ready emotionally. We briefly entertained the thought of putting both Kendall & Carson in the private school that we would eventually like to see them go to next year. Briefly. The price tag, which happens to be about 50% more, convinced us to stay put where they are currently going. But...even that school has a myriad of options.

For Kendall - there is a 3 day (MWF or TWR) or a 5 day 4 year old preK, or 2, 3 or 5 day "Mommy's Day out" program. For Carson - there is a 3 day (MWF or TWR) or 2 day (TR) 3 year old preK, or 2 or 3 or 5 day "Mommy's Day out" program. The both are currently in "school" 4 mornings a week. .. Oh...and two of Kendall's best friends, Kyle and Elizabeth, are going to be in different programs next year - one will be in MWF and the other will be in the 5 day program. As much as I appreciate all the options...it is almost overwhelming... And I really have only THIS week to decide...to make sure we get spots reserved for both kids before they open the enrollment to the rest of the community. Jeff doesn't believe much in "pre-school"...but he knows the kids have friends and get a chance to play...and I get some much needed me time while they are in school. So - he isn't any help...because he wants us to do whatever will make me a happier and better wife and mother. Anyway - I'm sure whatever decision I make won't permanently scar the kids...

So...as I haven't posted many pictures on here lately - here are a few from Christmas that I literally just downloaded off of my camera...haha

Kendall helping Daddy put the angel on the tree.

Making cookies!!! I just love how Carson already looks like he has put on red and green lipstick...

The final product! I can guarantee...the kids ate more of the red and green icing and sugar than ended up on the cookies! haha

Popular??

Last night we were trying to convince Kendall that she had to go to bed. We explained to her that since she had been sick for the last almost week, that it is only with lots of rest that she can fully recover, and then go to school to play with her friends. So I started naming off the friends she has mentioned in the past that she likes to play with. Kyle. Elizabeth. Ty. Jonathan. Ian. Taryn. Katie.

This morning, Kendall comes to me and says, "Mommy, Katie won't play with me" in a whisper. I said "Have you asked her to play with you?" She said sadly, "Yes, but she won't play with me."

Ugh. Knife straight into her Mommy's heart. Momma Bear wants to find this little girl and ask her why she won't play with my precious. I want to put a remote control on her and make her play with my little girl so that Kendall won't have that disappointed look on her face anymore. Because I remember that feeling...

Why is it that some people are "accepted" and others aren't? I can't say that I wasn't a popular person in high school. In fact - if you look at my yearbook at all the activities and the kinds of activities I was in - you could probably win an argument that I was somewhat popular in school. Student Council. Pep Club. Drama Club. Thespian Society. Math Club (uggh...I know...I have my sister to thank for that one...). Varsity Danceline. But I never felt "accepted". I had several good friends in each of the different "social classes" in school. One of my very best friends, Erik, was your typical "nerd"..."band geek"..."drama weirdo". But I loved him. I too...was a drama weirdo. One of my other very best friends, Bobbie, wasn't a nerd...wasn't a band geek...wasn't in the "popular" crowd...I think she was a cheerleader (I know she was our freshman year - but I just can't remember through our senior year...isn't that sad...one of my best friends and I can't remember) ...she was one of the many friendly faces in school that no one gave a second thought about - and it was their loss. Because she was (and still is) one of the most genuine and generous and fun and happy people you could ever know and I love her and am still blessed to have her in my life.

I was in the Varsity Danceline my sophomore through senior years in high school. This association kind of gave me an instant "in" into what most people call the "popular" crowd...much like a cheerleader would have been. Two of my best friends then were Christine and Tiffany.

Tiffany was one of those people that everyone loved. Everyone. Teachers loved her. Kids loved her. Administration loved her. Parents loved her. She wasn't beautiful - but she was cute. Christine was, and still is, beautiful. Tiffany was super smart and finished school near the top of our class. She was a fantastic dancer, and in fact, was one of the choreographers for our danceline. If my memory serves me correctly - she had taken ballet from the time of a young child - and her parents had actually been approached about making her a prima ballerina - she had that kind of talent. Tiffany was friendly to everyone...and seemed to me at least, to be very genuine in everything she did and said. Other people said she was fake. Other people said that she couldn't be that happy all the time. She wasn't. Being one of her close friends in school - I saw her when she was sad or angry or worried. She just didn't show everyone that side of her. But - she wasn't perfect. No one is.

But why was Tiffany so "lovable" and someone like myself was not? Or...was I more accepted and loved than I thought I was, but because of my low self-esteem at the time (and currently at times...), I didn't think I was? I HATED high school. I felt like I constantly had to put on airs and be someone I didn't want to be for people to like me. I thought that in order to be accepted...I had to be liked. Most of the friendships I had back then are only distant glimmers now. I am still good friends with Bobbie and we try to reconnect via phone or email at least every couple of weeks. We also are planning on a "girls only" trip to Los Angeles in 2011 or 2012 if our budgets can handle it. I still talk to Christine more often than not. In fact, thanks to Skype I was able to have a video chat with her right before Christmas. Tiffany is a "friend" on Facebook, although I never hear from her. And Erik, the one friend I thought I would never lose touch with, I never talk to anymore at all. I know where he lives. I know he is married with a little boy. That is it.

My friendships that I have established as an adult are so much more deep and fulfilling than the ones from high school. Two of my very best friends now are April and Kelly. The connection I feel with them is so much deeper than I ever had previously. But I also have a TON of other friends from other connections. Church & Mom's Bible study. Junior League.

So how do I explain to my little girl that although Katie may not want to play with her now...some day she might want to. And even if she doesn't ever want to play with her, it is Katie's loss. As important as those first friendships and connections are in establishing and building our views of ourselves - it really isn't until we are adults that we really fully realize what friendship is and how important it is. I know that being popular isn't important. What is important is making connections with people. Being fully genuine in all you do. Being true to yourself and God above all else. But when you have that "pressure" to "fit in"...which I know someday my Kendall and Carson will experience...it is almost impossible to balance it all out. As a parent...I only hope that I can save my kids any heartache when the board tips in the wrong direction.

In the meantime...anyone know of any human remote control devices I can borrow?

What a decade!

Not only a new year...but a new DECADE. Wow. Think of the possibilities! I actually shudder when I think of where I was ten years ago - January 2, 2000. So...a brief recap of my last ten years:

2000 - January - married to a sadistic, controlling man (NOT Jeff)
- June - leave the above said man & move in with Mom & Dad in Jacksonville, FL
- October - officially is divorced from above man


2001 - January - living with Mom and Dad still
- April/May - buy my own home
- June - pick up Chance at the local humane society


2002 - January - living on my own with Chance in my own house - happy
- June - start communicating via e-mail with a man 90 miles away from me in Gainesville
- July - meet said man in person in St. Augustine
- November - we tell each other that we love each other (BIG step for me...)


2003 - January - get engaged to Jeff at the same place we met in person just 6 months before
- April - move to Gainesville to live with Jeff and his dog, Buddy


2004 - April - get married - HAPPY
- November - experience a devastating loss (miscarriage)


2005 - January - sell our house and move into an apartment while our new house is being built
- March - go on an early anniversary cruise and come home with a wonderful souvenir
- October - move into our new house
- November -welcome the birth of our beautiful little girl, Kendall


2006 - November - announce at Kendall's birthday party that we are pregnant once again


2007 - January - fly to Phoenix, AZ to watch our beloved Gator football team win the BCS National Championship game
- June - experience the devastating loss of our beloved Buddy, 13 year old yellow lab
- July - welcome the birth of our very boisterous and happy little boy, Carson


2008 - April - bring home a new addition to the family, a yellow lab puppy, Rally


2009 - January - December - just try to make it day to day as a family of four with two big dogs





Wow...if you were adding everything up - that makes 5 moves for me in the last 10 years...3 pregnancies...2 children...3 dogs... What is most important for me though - is leaving behind a very miserable and trying time of my life to be with the love of my life and my best friend, Jeff. Should I even try to predict what the next 10 years will be for us? Hmmm... I actually almost tried to do it...but it is impossible. What is most shocking for me, I think, is that in 2020 - Kendall will be 14 years old and Carson will be 12...wow...that is impossible to imagine right now. It is hard to imagine how different our lives will be at that point. Right now I'm up to my eyeballs in diapers and sippy cups...10 years from now I'll be dealing with hormones and boyfriends/girlfriends. Right now I am chasing around 2 BIG dogs and cleaning up tons of itsy bitsy little toys that make you tear up when you step on them...10 years from now one of our beloved dogs will definitely be gone and I'll be trying to get the attention of my kids away from their computers or iPods or whatever new technology is around at that point. Right now I have only 4 mornings a week all to myself while the kids are in school....10 years from now I'll be alone 5 full days a week...lonely...



Who would have thought 10 years ago when I was in a very unhappy marriage with the WRONG guy...that I would now be in a very happy marriage with Mr. Right and two beautiful little kids. Amazing what can happen in 10 years.



Here's to the next 10!!!


Happy New Year!