Sunday, August 30, 2009

Tonight I find myself crying over a family I never really knew. 17 years ago I graduated from high school with Sean K. and Amy T. I couldn't even tell you if they were high school sweethearts or started dating after high school...but regardless - they were married and have a daughter. I don't even know if I've seen either of them since graduation...but I sit here tonight in front of my computer with tears in my eyes. A few days ago, 35 year old Sean died of an apparent heart attack. Sean had an identical twin brother, Mike, and a sister that I never knew. I don't know what he did for a living, I don't know how he spent his days, I don't know what kind of a man he was or if he knew Christ. What I do know, is that his wife is now living my biggest fear...and that is what makes me cry. The thought of losing my partner, my love, my companion, my best friend in this world scares me to death. Any night that he is later at work than he thought he would be or takes longer getting home than normal, I get a little stab of fear in my heart - because I can't imagine going through this life without him.

What also makes me cry is that it amazes me how little I knew this person and his wife. Sure I remember both of them, I can still hear Sean and his brother laughing, see Amy's smile as she cheered for the Varsity Cheerleaders. But beyond that...I didn't know them at all. And as narcissistic as this sounds...that makes me wonder would they even know or care if something happened to me? I went to high school with them for 4 years and I couldn't even tell you where they went to college...when they got married...anything. I know that part of the reason for that is that we weren't close in high school...and that I've moved a million times since then...but most of the reason is because I never cared enough to try to get to know them. And now, all I can think about is how devastated Amy must be that her husband is gone. I can imagine her cooking dinner for their family, expecting Sean home at any time...and then getting a phone call or a knock on the door that changed her life forever. My heart breaks for her. For having to go through the rest of her life with a whole in her heart and no one to share the ups and downs of their daughters life with. My heart breaks for her daughter never getting to know her dad. Not having her dad be able to walk her down the aisle the day she gets married.

Rest in Peace Sean Kielty.