I'm not a Runner...

Really...I'm not.

I've been running for just over two years now, about 1 1/2 years of that outside (anyone that runs regularly knows there is a HUGE difference between treadmill running and outside running).  When I first started running outside I couldn't go farther than 1.87 miles without feeling like I was dying...now I am hoping that in the next year I will run a half marathon (which is 13.1 miles).

But again...I'm not a runner.

I have suffered and overcome from Plantar Fasciitis (PF) with a low-dose oral steroid and stretching before EVERY SINGLE RUN.

But again...I'm not a runner.

I have had a colonoscopy and multiple exams due to rectal bleeding, because it appears I am one of the rare people (like 1 in 10 runners I think I read somewhere...) whose body reacts to the steady impact of running over long distances (anything over 3.25 miles) in a very odd and sometimes embarrassing manner but am otherwise completely healthy down "there" otherwise...but because of this "odd" thing I must put in a hydrocortisone suppository the night before every run so that I don't have bleeding when I run.

But again...I'm not a runner.

I am now seeing a Physical Therapist because I have Patella Femoral Pain Syndrome (PFPS), which my PT thinks is actually due to Plica Syndrome (another rare condition), and over the last 6 weeks I've only run a total of probably 10 miles, but I still try to go out and run and even push through the sharp pain that comes at times in the run just so I can continue.

But again...I'm not a runner.

My husband says to me....You have had heel pain, rectal bleeding and now knee pain...and yet you still want to run?

Yes.  I do.

But again...I don't consider myself a runner.

I don't LIKE running.  I don't.  If you ever see me out running, I will look pained and exhausted.  I don't glide across the road like some women do.  I feel every. Single. Step.  Anytime someone takes a picture of me at a 5K or some sort of event... I look "concerned"...NOT like I'm enjoying myself.

So...again... I don't consider myself a runner.

At least...I didn't used to...

But my big goals this year...another triathlon sprint, a 10K, a half marathon, an Olympic length triathlon...all involve running.

When I don't run...I get moody and depressed.  When I don't run...I don't sleep as well.  When I don't run...I have less energy.

When I am driving around town and I see people running...I wish I was with them.  I get jealous when someone is out running and I realize that I haven't been in a while.  If I don't run every few days... I CRAVE it.  The last 6 weeks as I've been out with knee pain...I  have thought more about running and getting out there again than ever before.  I've really...truly...in my bones...missed running.

Ok... Time to admit it.

I. Am. A. Runner.